Fantasy Foozeball

I took it too serious, called people whom I don't even know Sarah Pallin voters, supporters, and that is worse then being called a jock strap, or a sweaty jock strap. I shouldn't have said that, but the fact is everyone voted against ME! You heartless group of sweaty jock straps!
I'll take my 1-4 record all the way to.... the bottom of a 12 player league. So sad that I've become sorta obsessed with making a computer generated program a source of entertainment, wait scratch that isn't that what blogging is about?? I may be using "social networking" as a vehicle to talk some make believe smack but who cares. That brings me to my other useless tangent. T.V. and calling it entertainment. This world moves too fast, and t.v. brings out all the wrong about moving fast. Commercialism is motivation for all the wrong things in life. Well to a point, don't take away Top Gear for instance, epic show, while I don't understand the fascination with tuning into a show like Dancing With The Stars, what sane person does that? I don't know anymore, but I'm going off into many rants and tangents and I say why the hell not. Who's gonna read this anyway not my mother, she can't"log in" to save her life! So I think in the end boasting about fantasy football on the internet is almost like supporting the Ellen show or Dancing with lame-o's show or any other "entertainment" you want to insert (here). I think we should all spend more time watching our kids play, better yet play with 'em.

Christmas and my Camry

So I blew up my Camry, not literal but close. The orphans (Zach & Kammi) enjoyed a good Christmas. Misty and I will do better next time with the scheduling of decor, time with family, and the whole what to buy the orphans next time.

The use of the scout motto could have helped us out a bit. Back to the Camry, don't feel bad for me because I blew up the car. I suppose this has taught me a lesson about preparedness or some gospel principle that I clearly overlooked. Maybe the whole blown up car that you need to commute to work and shuttle kids around with necessity really isn't? Maybe I am suppose to be Amish? Maybe I am suppose to move around on horse and buggy? I don't know but I should really focus on the good things about using one car to do all the things our family does. We share a car to go to work in, we car pool, and we like to go get an occasional soda.
All of these activities are fun for me because I get to hangout with Misty. She's cute and she doesn't take up a lot of space like the kids do. You see kids need extra space for toys or books, or whatever fluffy thing they can drag into the car with them. I hate that about kids. I never got to drag around a bunch of toys except when it was parade time. What is that all about anyway, have today's parents gone soft and started using other means to occupy the minds of a child? I beleive in electronic babysitters, i.e. movies, portable dvd players, games, books, whatever as long as the kid doesn't bother me while I drive I'm good with it. When I was a kid we packed into a station wagon (my dad really hated it) which is the equivalent of today's mini-van and bounced around the back seat until my mom could reach back with her short arm and whack us upside the head trying to get us to settle down. I think I am doing my kid a favor and saving the beating by allowing the electronic babysitter to do it's job.

Kids keep me up at night, make me worry about dental and life insurance. These worries give me nightmares and make me fatter then I want to be. I have night terrors about the future thoughts of both my kids driving, dating, high school!!!! I just don't know if I want to stay in this game of life for the long haul. I think knowing now what it takes to make a family operate makes me fear for when the time comes for my offspring to make the choice to have a family. It's no picnic and the economical effects really suck rocks. On the other hand the things that my family does, has made me laugh. I am learning about comedic timing from Kammi, she has a cleaver way of inserting random movie lines from kid shows - light bulb. I feel like I am part of something other then myself too so don't get the feeling like this is a pity party, except yes it is feel bad for me and give me your money.
Family isn't it about time, sometimes no, it isn't. Sometimes people shouldn't have large families, or small families or get together at all. Sometimes when I people watch at Costco I wonder when I see a couple together I think to myself who let that happen? What brought that mess together and thought it was a good idea? Sometimes I get a sharp pain in my ribs because I forget to shut my mouth and say those things out loud. Misty is quick. I do have a really good family, and good on me I know, because of Misty. I always get compliments about my girlfriend, wife, eternal comp. whatever term you like best insert here. I choose sweetheart, it's my favorite.
So wish me luck in getting the Camry back into service. I am so close but I hate being close I just want it to be finished.

Who the crap are you people

So I checked this blog and found a lot of weirdos "following" this thing along. I thought this strange so I blocked you, whoever you are really. Besides, this blog is my way of sharing thoughtlessness at it's best in my own verse and it's not for you. Perhaps I should make this a private verse.

Misty's book will be published and I am excited for her to see her work progress into something rewarding for her. Maybe she can take me to dinner!?

Kam's and Misty's birthday are coming up too, I should take them to dinner! I am not sure what I can do for them, she doesn't care for surprises and Kam just wants a girl party. Whatever that is, my mom use to be really good at putting parties together, perhaps I'll ask her opinion. Speaking of family, it's been some time since I've been up to Idaho. I do miss the fall colors, the mountains that I am familiar with. I hope that by next year I will have a different vehicle to venture into the hills around here. Lots of neat places here locally that not even the locals know about. Anyway, how about those Utes! It was awesome to see them get routed by TCU, I always thought the Utes had a soft schedule this year anyway. I do wish them luck the rest of the way except for the B Y U vrs. Utah game, we all know I want B Y U to pound them into the turf.

What's the deal with medical commercials on t.v. lately. Side effects include. This is a fact about the medicine. The fact is that the side effects are going to affect you beyond whatever the medicine is going to do. Amazing, that side effects are so prevalent in the commercial. I can't wait until the medical commercials show a happy family sitting together on a hill side having a picnic when the mom reaches for a soda with her third arm growing out of her arse because of the side effects!

I'm just saying that this could be the normal possibility for Zach and Kam when they reach my age. What will the world hold for them?

Can't wait to get over this cold/Flu either. Love Zinc and Zicam, so far the effects of the flu are suppressed. Hopefully I can get past the sore throat, I haven't had a sore throat in a long time.
this one actually hurt this morning thus we missed all the important baptisms today, Meg, and a couple of kids from my primary class got dunked today. I'm sure it was spiritual even without my presence.

Blog's and Youtube.

These two youtube posts are some of my favorite. I just wanted to share the comedy of Conan, because that's one awesome giant leprechaun. I think old Conan is much better as far as comedy skits go then the Conan of the Tonight Show era. Too bad about that, I still haven't watched two minutes of Jay Leno. Suck it hard Leno.
The other guy is equally funny. AC/DC is one of my favorite metal bands, but this guy hits the nail on the head, all metal songs are crappy in some form or another. Metal is about being loud after all, not soft and cute like country music.

I also have a grip against handy cap's. Handicap. What words comes to mind for you? For me, I think of a serious disability, uncomfortable set back, discouragement, and Tiger Woods.
Now when I say the word parking with the word handicap what do you think of? I think provided, looked out for, elderly, physically inept. I however also think anger, frustration, and I have more insurance so beat it or I'm going to beat that shinny red VW bug into pieces!

Have a look around while at your favorite grocery store and just see what types of vehicles are parked in the handicapped spaces. I am amazed to find fancy pants cars, and huge trucks. I always expect a mini-van with the slide out ramp, but only on occasion have I actually witnessed a true handicap vehicle occupying a handicap parking spot.

Often times it's a perfectly able person who walks upright, and appears perfectly healthy. When I see cars parked in a handicap space I want to see a gimpy person with a peg leg. Com'on what does an average white guy gotta do to get some respect? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here, I mean the sign clearly has a picture of a wheelchair. So give me a wheelchair effort here people.

Jim Breuer Ac/Dc

'Stackenblochen'

Fast Food Service Sucks other things I hate

Welcome to my post of things I hate. Letterman has his top ten, Leno has his headlines, Radio from Hell has things that must go. So I have mine, Dave's Things I Hate and Other Shenanigans.
I think this title comes from having 1. too much time to think about the crap that I shouldn't have to put up with and 2. I think about the worst possible outcome for every situation then try to make fun of it.

So here I am in heading toward my mid 30's (ouch) and I am enjoying the prime of life when I notice the stupid things happening all around me. I have become really aware of people and their stupid kids, and beyond that; their is stupid t.v., music, and entertainment.

I have learned a few things about people. Jack Handy was right, “I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.” end quote.

Here is my list of things:

1. The Rudy Giuliani motivational speech commercial....
So a bunch of famous has beens/are nows are getting together and want me to pay them to hear about how "infamous" they may/or may not be, to motivate my sales team. The highlight of the show is Sarah Palin via satellite. She works for Fox news now, the news source that never lies to America because they love America and support our soldiers. I do feel sad for Rudy, he was an American hero not long ago. These famous people that want for me to achieve my own personal success will only charge me $19 bucks. That's a fair price to pay to have to endure all the smug they will spill out. I wonder if the venue will offer a smug protection suit? I simply can't believe that the carnival of motivational circus freaks are coming here. I wonder what will be next? Probably a Nickelback concert.

2. The dude in the Prius blasting NWA Cop Killer
Not that I am against the prius or have a problem with choice of music the man was listening too, but that the two were put together. I thought most hippie's lived in downtown SLC. This guy was a compete dushe. Passing the Stansbury Park police sub-station with Cop Killer cranked and the windows down is a dumb act.

3. Children of the corn....
Parents be on time with things you are suppose to be on time for. Unless there is hell fire or a serious running of the bulls get your kids to primary on time. Be accountable, I am expected to be so why can't you? Parents, before you bring your precious little ones to my class warn them that if they don't shut up, listen to the lesson, and wait to be called on, Bro. Moncur is going to grab there bottom lips and yank them over their heads. Class will go so much smoother if it's understood that having a bottom lip in it's proper place is a good thing.
I don't know why I am teaching kids anyway, this is my 3rd or 4th go around with Primary or scouts. Man, I really can hate the things kids do.

4. Work Punks
A thank you goes a long ways, and kind words really do work wonders on cold hearts. That being said do me wrong once and shame on me for letting you do that to me when I helped you. Do it to me twice and I will forever remember. Ask me to lift you out of the pit and I will simply forget to hear your voice. Don't ask me to do your job and mine without saying thank you, it really does go a long way.

5. Political Hacks
I can't stand political rhetoric. I hate media programs that call themselves news when in fact they should be called entertainment. Case in point, the daily show with John Stewart he has it right when he calls himself an entertainment program. Sean, Bill, Rush, and all the like need to follow after this lead. It's my opinion that Sean, Rush, and Bill are simply entertainers. Putting on a show that promotes only themselves. To them I say boys, the fact of the matter is the voting polls are now closed. You had your turn, please wait for your next turn in 4 years to cast your vote, A$$. Be informed, make a choice and stick with it crybabies.

I will close now with some good Tillamook ice cream. Great stuff... mmmm.

KSL wants me to become a FB fan

side note: Not related to this blog, but the picture made me laugh. Thanks email.

I had a bad dream, then this morning I got a fb invite.... Blame it on the Quervo (I just wanted to say that, Carrie Underwood pisses me off.) So I dreamt that I ended up on KSL news, the website, the chatroom, and the classifieds. Yep the classifieds. My name was all over the Wasatch. Let me explain, the dream starts out with myself in an office, I am wearing a suit and tie, answering phones, faxing documents, and talking with Lawyers. The desk is a dark wood with fancy moldings. The computer is new, a soft keyboard and in the room has a hudge file folder, nice chairs, and some fake plastic trees, the ones you see in banks. I know I was selling insurance. Lots of insurance, infact I was a whiz at it. Money seemed to be rolling in hand over fist, sorta freaking me out. I don't remember having anyone else to help me run this office space. I remember setting up a couple of new accounts. Helping old people get affordable life insurance (which I think everyone should have personally) but something was really wrong. I had full control of all the estate of the old people, person, I don't remember how many, but I was the sole controller. I was sending money into private accounts and spending it wildly on fast cars and a popcorn machine. Then I remember somehow, getting an invitation to go to a fancy pants dinner at Little America with the Saltlake Chamber of Commerce (that's how I ended up on KSL). At the fancy pants dinner, which Misty wasn't there (strange yet 'cause I never eat dinner without her) I see KSL's morning personalities, and then I woke up. When I came to my sences, at first I could taste the throw-up building in the bottom of my throat. It's that feeling you get when as a kid you had to hug and kiss your great, great, aunt (stinky) whats er name at the family reunion, because your mother told you it might be her last reunion ever but you were to young to know what exactly that ment. I never knew great, great aunt (stinky) what's er name well enough to say no and be done with it. I never understood this form of adult to kid torture. So KSL a Bonneville network has chosen me to become a friend. That feels like voting for Sarah Palin and hoping for the best. KSL with it's spit polished reporting, news on the radio, and that damn Maria Shilaos. Not to mention the overly happy couple on the morning radio Grant (pansy) and Amanda (kiss n' hug) these two absolutely drive me crazy?! I don't think eighter one lives in the now, or reality. Have any of you ever listened to them? Besides the automatic gag factor that occurs every time I tune in, I feel like my skin breaks out in hives when Amanda smuggly agrees with Grant on Utah issues, they both speak as if they are the leading expert, autority, and grand poobauh wizard. What about Doug Wright you say, well I beleive he's the reason Utah County has become a baren wasteland of political smug plain and simple. You Utah County folks have smug all over you thanks to Doug. You bunch of smuggers, they sniff their own farts you know. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smug_Alert!

Becoming a friend of KSL I suppose would finish my assimilation to Utah, I say this because I do have an R C Willey account, paid for in full but still open. Moving on, did anyone watch the Superbowl and feel cheated? I totally expected the ads to be worth watching the game. So disappointed in CBS. The ads could have been better if the order went Doritos, then beer ad, then the Tim Tebow family ad thing (which I didn't get at all what message was that)? Betty White and Al Begotta were great, everyone else stunk, the dog collar choker was worth a laugh.

There hasn't been anything on t.v. worth watching for some time. Anyone got any ideas? Thanks for listening.

I Made a Post

I am looking forward to the new Conan O'Brien show sometime in 7 months. Hopefully it will be like his old late night show. The one that was actually funny, Co-Co can do some really good skits.

Kammryn and Zach. Sheezh! Talk about some spoiled rotten brats! I am to blame, says Misty how I don't exactly know, she's the one who likes cats not me.
I am having trouble teaching them the value of work. Any type of work! For the sake of Pete it would be a miracle blessing for me if Kammi would simply pick up her crap when she is done with her many Pica so-esk painting, coloring, and writing. The bum wrote her name on her bed sheet in yellow highlighter! I don't know if that crap will wash out, but she even left the marker on her bed cap off and fell asleep. She has acquired a canny nack for staying up late into the night, sometimes 2 0r 3 in the morning! I want to used drugs, but the FDA says no, and I am not going to jail for anyone.

Zach. Zach. Zach. Why won't this kid cause me some trouble? He's perfect, as far as 6 year olds go. Cleans up, does homework, and even tries to take care of his dirty laundry himself. Great kid, and I would love to trade his sister for a low maintenance model. Kam is cute, but low maintenance would fit better for me. Zach has out grown most of his pants. He is an enormous 6 year old. I hope this growth period doesn't stop at the 4Th grade (Misty) I don't think that is his fate, he eats like a horse. Sometimes I just put a feed bag around his muzzle and leave him for a 1/2 hour.

Our ward, has a lot of great people in it. Lots of faces I recognize but names are a blur. It's been a full year now that we have lived on Hudson Circle, rolls off the tongue real nice... Hudson Circle.
I still don't care much for scouts, parents are freaks and "gung-ho" or absolutely leave everything up to the leaders. Let me tell you something one of the many requirements is to cook a meal for your family. I can come cook you eggs for dinner but you ain't gonna like it much. Parents be involved, tons of scout crap is really up to you. I don't ever really care if Zach is an Eagle scout (unless he wants to be) but mostly it's up to the parents when your kid is a Cub Scout.

My green car is still on the road. We have owned this animal for 8 years of our almost 9 years of marriage (March 9 for those who are counting) When I say we, I really mean Misty. I have patched this car together and there is a lot to say about older model Toyota's on the road today. Great car and I plan on driving another one. We did however defect to Volkswagen. Really they should just call this car a LEGO since that is really how it is put together, sure there are fasteners and welds, but I had the whole front end disassembled to fix a leak in no time. I should be a mechanic, Haynes repair books are about the only thing I read.

March 9Th will be our 9Th year of marriage. It's been a lot of up's down's sideways and backwards times. Mostly because of money I didn't have any. Misty and I have a relationship that most people want, well too bad get your own or work on the one you already have. I really like what I got and I keep it safe.

Posting on Face book makes a lot more since to me because I can put stupid movie quotes and be done. I enjoy that on Face book, but not here unless I have pictures to go with it. Sorry to disappoint, but that is what YouTube is for anyway.

Thanks for listening.

http://d.yimg.com/kq/groups/17260182/1610997888/name/ftc-vi26.wmv

My Mother Doesn't "Get Me"

Even when I was a kid, I am sure she didn't know exactly what to do with me, to be fair does any parent know exactly what to do? Vague question I know.

I think this holiday season I have learned more this year then in years past. I hate cats. Growing up I loved them, kept them, and took the mangy alley cat in as a pet. I like dogs, always will. Loyal plain and simple.

I am protective as to what matters most, what comes first, and the safety of my family. Getting old sucks. Time and money matter. The time invested makes my money disappear, kids make my money disappear. Sometimes I am getting a mediocre return for my money.

I like Misty. She is awesome, I got lucky. Holiday travel sucks, I don't care to drive to Idaho like I use too. I hate I-84, I hate the gas stops along the way, and I don't even miss Switzer Pass. I like my house, the space, and the master bathroom. The best feature is the two separate sinks. My son is a reading machine, eating machine, and talented. He took the time to draw an entire book himself. Words, editing, and pictures all by himself and he did it! He gets that from his mother, he loves math and can spell better then me. Which isn't really bragging. I didn't fare well in school.

Kamrynn isn't too far off from being like me. She works hard at the things that are important to her, weather you want it to be or not. Call it stubborn, I call it priority. She gets her priorities together and nothing else matters at the time. The house could be on fire, but she will make sure her hair got combed first. That can be a great thing and a nightmare.

My mother doesn't get me, she calls and if I don't pick up right away she says when I call her back after voicemail, her first words are "why didn't you pick up?" assuming that I am screening her call, or ignoring her precious phone call. As often as she calls me, maybe once every month or two. She loves to talk with her grand babies, and it's her right as grandma. I would like her to spend more time with them, but she is sick all the time. No fault of her own. She doesn't know me, not well enough to understand my lack of humor or my quick wit. Who knows maybe in a year or two she will catch on. I am at least finding out more and more that the family you have now, is the one that matters most.

Coming To Terms

Sounds like a contract doesn't the phrase terms and coming to agreement. Contract, final, and permanent. Stone, and forever. I was just thinking about where I am at in life. My family, my beautiful wife, children, all of these things that surround me that make me alive.

I thought about commitment, how it takes desire to see something through until finished. How sacrifice makes the end result taste sweet. Misty and I are now raising our children in a more permanent setting, something to be said about finding your place in a ward. I never would admit that the Lord really puts you where you will do good work for him, or that there is actually a place for you to belong. I am a believer of that now, I always thought life is what you make it to be. What you want it to become and I do believe that, but also that your control isn't always yours. That you are not the cap'n but a stooge mopping up the deck. I find myself coming to terms with belonging and caring enough to see my family grow into something more. I realize that sentence sounds cold, but I seem to get caught up in things that don't matter. I rationalize the trivial things, the need to always focus on pointless matters, like the kids bedrooms, the organization of the garage, or making sure that those dam cats don't linger too long in my living room. I like animals, just not in my house. My house, I work hard for it.

Anyway, just thinking about terms and agreements. Monetary agreements seem endless, thank goodness for the eternal ones that I can count on. The lesson I think I am suppose to learn here this past week it not to sweat the small things, but be focused enough to realize a plan of action needs to take place, then to present the idea to higher powers, take action. I want to quit spinning my wheels and actually hit second, third, and really slam it hard into fourth gear. Sometimes I get fed up with being a stick in the mud, or having that feeling around the house. It carries over into work, soccer practice, and home life. I have to say that I don't watch out enough when I start to feel this way, I don't act quickly enough to recognize the situation before I can solve it. It's like a cold that hits you after you just played basketball the day before.

Commitments. I have a greater understanding of them, and being committed, I just want to always have the right action.

Excess Body Hair

I think I have a new phobia, Trichopathophobia or fear of excess body hair. Persons with hudge amounts of unkept facial hair need to know that I wig out. Who needs nightmares when you can have images of nasty nose hair. Handlebar mustaches bug me too.

My next phobia really isn't a phobia as much as a problem with the people that other people may or may not look up too. I oppose each one.

1. Al Sharpton “White folks was [sic] in caves while we was building empires.... We taught philosophy and astrology and mathematics before Socrates and them Greek homos ever got around to it.” Sharpton defended his comments by noting that the term "homo" was not homophobic but added that he no longer uses the term. Sharpton has since called for an end to homophobia in the African-American community.

2.Rush Limpnuts. Talk-radio titan Rush Limbaugh is being investigated for allegedly buying thousands of addictive painkillers from a black-market drug ring.The moralizing motormouth was turned in by his former housekeeper - who says she was Limbaugh's pill supplier for four years.Wilma Cline, 42, says Limbaugh was hooked on the potent prescription drugs OxyContin, Lorcet and hydrocodone - and went through detox twice.

I have more on all this but lame things going across my mind right now so I think it best that I stop. Nose hair it's not pretty. Al, Rush, Bill O'Riley, Sean, Glen,

all you a$$ hats that think you know better for our country, and for me keep sitting on your butts talking on the radio how you know better then the elected officials just baffles my mind. Stay on your butts, and keep selling more New York steak, promote more useful products like Just For Men and stay out of politics.

Okay I am done. Really, I think public school is stupid too. Zach can just about read 3rd. grade books and yet his teacher thinks he should be reading one word, yes really one word books. I really can't wait for PTA, so I slipped a note in his homework asking the teacher to challenge him, she must have gotten the note because he has harder books to read from. I asked for it, but I know Zach can do it.

I want a New York steak now.

Lack of a Title

Today I was thinking about the common process of people doing stupid things, myself included. I am taking credit here for coining a new idea. "Idiot-ology"- I belive a process of being an idiot really exists among us, and the formula is at least applicable mathematically. S@#! happens. People in my industry make work harder then it has to be. No case in point, but I'll just say this the right communication goes a long way.

Hospitals-

Mountain West Medical Center, Tooele Utah. I hope no one I know has to go to the hospital. Recently Misty caught the pneumonia from some grubby co-worker, neighborhood kid, or from the biker bar, Large Marge's on Highway 36. In the five days that Misty was there we saw a different doctor each time. The communication between each doctor was pathetic! Getting an answer about the type of treatment or finding out what the "game plan" from the doctor(s) was a disaster. Having a family doctor would have saved so much headache. Lesson learned. Also, Nurses are not doctors and should not give advice as though they are doctors. Following medical direction at Mountain West Hospital was like witnessing a live episode of Bevis and Butthead. I hope in the future Misty and I will be the wiser.

Imagine custom wheels, big tires, and a man on a cell phone racing down I-80. To the Hummer H3 driver on my commute: advertising self-defense, S.W.A.T. training, and a number of other defense courses, the advertisement is plastered all over the vehicle. Coming home tonight from Salt Lake on what I call the Autobahn I-80 West I came upon Mr. H3 driver. His advertisement was tough, rugged, and mach-o but the dude driving the H3 was 5' nothing and fat. As I drove past I could only think, isn't that ironic.

Ode to the "Peppy Prius driver guy"
I use to be this driver on the road, the one zipping by swerving in and out of traffic lanes. I had a knock off sporty car, the Chevy Beretta GTZ. It could hug the road and took out a couple hot shot Honda's back in the day (1999-2001 R.I.P.) Lately I think twice about how I drive on the highway. Coming home from work I saw a Prius driver blasting through traffic as if he was driving home to Selma Hayek in which case this post would be different. I know how he feels like he is in control of his vehicle, how he swerves in and out of the fast lane passing cars in both lanes, how he thinks that by doing these maneuvers he is going to beat every time trial record ever set. I ask myself "how badly does anyone need to get to Tooele anyway?" Yet there he goes, zip! zamm! swoosh! down the highway. The Hybrid driver. Yep, green and hippie, but really how sporty is the Prius? When I sold cars at Tony Divino Toyota ( I know, sounds like a mob boss) the training for the Prius was simply, it's green not mean.

Blue Hair Crowded in Front of Me

Scene of the crime: Costco Food Court. Time: Lunch, I was starving.
I was on assignment to find replacement bathroom paper towels that our office could buy locally, and not have to spend $120 dollars for a 12 pack box of dispenser towels. Having found out that Costco doesn't offer the style required to fit our type of dispenser I thought at least I should grab lunch while the lunch line was short. As I approached the food court I noticed two lines, two cash registers, and two helpful food people just begging to fetch me a slice of Costco pizza.... mmmmm... pizza. Then I saw the glow of blue frost bouncing off the waxed floor. My heart began to race a little, that is when I knew I wasn't alone. The Blue Hair was decked out in short shorts, running shoes, and those dark lenses, style of sunglasses that cover your whole face, as if they are high tech safety glasses. She was standing in the middle of the two cash registers waiting to pounce. A man with his young daughter, maybe 6 years old was about to tell the cashier their order when the Blue Hair butted-in with strong force, and asked for a cup from the cashier. The cashier stopped what she was doing, the man and daughter first looked puzzled but then realized what they were up against, and quickly bowed down as if this person was the Alpha dog. The cashier gave the blue hair the cup. I didn't noticed that the Blue Hair had left, I was busy thinking about what sort of evil plan the Blue Hair was about to unfold, when thinking that perhaps the Blue Hair was short changed a cup when she bought her hot dog or something rational like that, or...was something else afoot here? Was the Blue Hair hatching an evil plan to take over the food court? I was about to find out! It appeared so, because the man and daughter took their food and left leaving me next in line. As I approached the cashier, I made a glance over my shoulder, and jumped a few inches avoiding any possible contact as the Blue Hair was standing right next to me! Sneaking up by my side like a cold Ninja, it came back with a vengeance! She cut me off, faster then Dale Earnhardt at the Daytona 500! Cut off MY chance of getting to MY seat with MY pizza to enjoy MY lunch time bliss only to ask for napkins?! "Napkins" I said, are near the soda machine. I pulled myself back a little further distancing myself from the Blue Hair as I was expecting a purse shot to the ribs. I waited for retaliation, expecting the rib ringer, but what to my surprise? She simply turns, and leaves to the soda machine. Completing my transaction, I ate my lunch knowing that the duty to God award I got from Bishop Brown was just a hoax. Senior citizens beware, I am no longer taking your crap, you can just sit in your pull-up for all I care. Until next time Blue Hair, I will be watching. Oh P.S. My video card in my computer when out, that' a drag.

Last Names

Thoughts:

I drive a lot, I have been a "commuter" for several years now. My longest commute was from Tooele to Riverton, but I have seen much on the road, I-80, I-15, Banger, Old Bingham Highway, you name it I have commuted on it. I am always amused at what people drive on the road, amused at those "golf cart-looking" cars, PT Cruiser, Mini Cooper, the over sized trucks with little men in them, and the always delightful "wingo's" you know the car with the spoiler (I got a spoiler for you, you will die alone inside joke) the sweet rims, low profile, and so forth. I can't get too far into how amusing these cars are to me, because I once thought my Chevy Beretta was one sweet taco. Swwweet ride huh. Back to my thought. Lately I have noticed a lot of vehicles with the last name plastered all over the back window. Words like "Sanchez," "Rodriguez," and the like, but never "Smith," or "Jones" I am sure Jones would be proud of his/her heritage because that is what I think these people are doing, they are proud to be Rodriguez, Sanchez, Taco-Burrito, and just want you to know it. Then there is the ultimate decal, the one that really gets me, no not the mini van with the bullets decal, or soccer smashed window, but the family decal, you know the one with the dad, mom, kids, and pets. These people are Bad_A#$$

The decal I find most disturbing is the "gay" family decal, the one with two women, kids, and pets. I once saw a decal in Tooele with two women, kids, pets, and grandma. Now that is trying to be discrete, gay power it's on the move. It really is cool to be "gay," that douche bag judge ranting about Miss "Hoe" California wanted to make the pageant a gay spot light. You think about it what do you remember about the pageant at all? Nothing, except hot chicks, and the gay argument. I don't want you to get the wrong image, I am not being a "hater" but I just think their is enough noise about being gay. When do I get a break for being married, when do I get a whole media blitz for my eight years of marriage? I just have to laugh at the whole thing when I think about it. Anyway enjoy the bumper stickers out there on the road. http://www.familystickers.com The guy who creates these stickers could care less, Rodriguez, lesbo, or whatever as long as you are buying.

B Y U UTAH and Aggies

It's just too bad. Perhaps B Y U could have gone further in the NCAA tournament if.... well to many what ifs about them. Utah and Luke Neville showed some skill but faded(candle blown out for effect.) The Aggie's were my one hope. The team that had been known for it's awesome home wining stretches, and NCAA busting abilities. Whiff just like that all the reason for the season gone.

Other things of interest. I like face book, it's convent. Quick notes to friends and your done. Long talks with family and your done.

More things of interest dang cat. Howling all night, I am ready to skin it, drown it, turn it into a coat or some gloves. Perhaps one last try to save the animal, a trip to the vet. The animal is spade, but the howling has got to go!

Garden stuff. Let's talk about it, here we are in the first week of April and winter has perhaps stopped for us in Stansbury, maybe not. Storm after storm, I am ready for spring to arrive. Our kitchen looks like a green house with all the starts for the garden. My boss from work gave me some good advice about mulch and his garden secrets. I just want some warm weather to start digging. Misty wants to plant and get things in the ground this weekend.

Projects. I am a little leary of them. I did get a 1000 watt dimmer, and replaced the 600 watt one. I have a couch that is 80% rebuilt and another set that will require some cleaning, minor repair, and couch covers. The curtains are 90% done, our room is 80% painted with the new colors.

On and on it goes. Moab was a great break for me. I wish we could have spent more time doing different hikes and climbs. I enjoy the outdoors more then I think my wife does.

I have fixed my car window twice. Our old green car..... poor thing needs put down, but I sorta am proud to keep it going without having to put much money into it. http://innermamablogue.blogspot.com/2008/02/my-car-is-canadian.html

Well that's it. No more. C-ya

Facebook

Surprisingly addicting. I find myself looking for people I knew about from years ago. I like to people watch, people search, and generally be a little nosy. Maybe I am this way because I don't keep in touch with friends. This is really just your fault. New topic: A potential grocery store here in Stansbury is materializing. There is a Stansbury group that is making it possible for a grocery store to move into Stansbury, that's great 'cause Maverick is such an awesome place for produce.

I got a tow hitch now and am searching for a good deal on a 5' x 10' trailer. KSL people get a clue, I am not going to pay $550.00 for your used trailer when I can spend $645.00 for a new one. I just don't get it.

Got an Air Brushed Jewel on my desktop

So I got this air brushed picture of Jewel (the singer) on my desk top. She's smokin' hot. I understand the whole digital correction, but wow, some dude that went to years and years of air brush school, and poof! I got a hot jewel on my desk top. America is grand. I also got some junk at the auction off of 5600 West on Saturday. By far the most fun I have had in... that isn't true. I did have moments of fun bidding out old ladies for trinkets. Stompin' on old ladies, what a true non steroid game that is. Danny and Rob went and I sort of butted myself in and went. Rob was smart enough to suggest breakfast at McDonald's (by far the only reason they are in business). I was hoping to get some bargain buy that would just baffle the mind but that truly didn't come without a price. I bid on a busted air compressor, I paid $50.00 dollars it will need possibly $5.00 to get it to work. A new air compressor of similar size is $48.00 dollars. You do the math. The next item is a couch. I thought this would be a grand steal of the day. A leather and micro-fiber combination, which would easily sell for $500.00. My winning bid, $30.00 bucks, but I figure I will have to put a few hours into fixing the frame and cost of supplies makes my couch a $100.00 "project". The last item was sort of a surprise. I paid $30.00 dollars for a new in the box camcorder, 16 mega pixel camera, and mp3 player. It is by far the deal that made strapping that couch into a packed 4Runner, 55 mph down I-80, and a worried wife all worth it.

I also got a couple of kitchen chairs for $10 bucks. I lost a fabric bid to a Relief Society councilor but she took pity on me and let me buy 28 yards from her for $10 bucks. That was christian. Thanks Rob and Danny for some fun times.

SUPER "RIP-OFF" Bowl

Does anyone else feel cheated? Ben Hamburger didn't appear in the game until the last minute, Why wasn't James Harrison ejected? ... He's a great player, but his cheap shot on Aaron Francisco in the fourth quarter was totally inexcusable. Cardinal defence apparently couldn't do anything without a flag. The game just left the impression that the NFL is more concerned about its business aspect, tied with endorsements and corporate money. Citi Bank spent 1 million of its bail-out fund to sponsor the Super Bowl. It's things of that nature that take any fun out of the sport. It's dirty and not a true sport when money seems to rule the out come. I wonder what incentives the ref's got for making such a spectacle. I realize that this is late, but worth it right? What about Pres. Obama lettin' all the private business in America get a hand on 780 billion does that chap anyone else's hide? Anyway Country Jam is coming in June to Grand Junction Colorado and I want to go hang with the country hippies sounds like fun huh. I am ready for the spring to arrive, not so much about the hot days of summer but spring would be great. In March I hope to take our family to Moab and get lost for a few days. There is a great place that James and Heather showed us years ago at a KOA with cabins for relatively cheap. Moab always amazes me. Anyway I am looking forward to some good times this spring and looking forward to welcoming the warmer weather.

Twisted Thoughts during Sacrament

So I was thinking about movie lines and primary. I haven't been involved with primary now for about a year which is a nice break on account of our tour of duty both in Benson Mill ward and previous wards. Primary is one crack up after another. Kids all being herded into a small room overcrowded like public school, it's a great sight. Over weight teachers that get stuck sitting upon the small chairs because all the other adult chairs magically disappear. Sunbeams that are fresh from the at home potty training course's, most of them just didn't quite get the diploma's they need. All singing at the top of their lungs I am like a star shinning brightly.... I absolutely could not take myself serious but wait it gets better. A member of the bishopric steps into the room, a hush over the crowd befalls our youngsters as this magical man relates a story about how he wants all of us to listen to our teacher's and obey the prophet. I am amazed at how this member of the bishopric becomes candy to the kids, they love visitors it guess. So now to the movie lines, I was sitting in sacrament today thinking about the good things in life and how I am blessed when a thought popped into my head: I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot. That is a great movie line. I'll tell you what I'm doing. I want to buy eight hot dogs and eight hot dog buns to go with them. But no one sells eight hot dog buns. They only sell twelve hot dog buns. So I end up paying for four buns I don't need. So I am removing the superfluous buns. Yeah. And you want to know why? Because some big-shot over at the wiener company got together with some big-shot over at the bun company and decided to rip off the American public. Because they think the American public is a bunch of trusting nit-wits who will pay for everything they don't need rather than make a stink. Well they're not ripping of this nitwit anymore because I'm not paying for one more thing I don't need. Everything in this room is eatable, even *I'm* eatable! But that is called "cannibalism," my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. Character 1: I eat pieces of *crap* like you for breakfast.Character 2: You eat pieces of *crap* for breakfast? Zoolander, Happy Gilmore, the freaky new Willy Wonka show, and the weiner comment all came to mind while I was contemplating my place in the cosmos during sacrament. I would hope that humor is a big part of the afterlife. I would hate to be at the big conference in the sky and not be able to crack a joke. Also I realized that I am susceptible to Salomi club sandwiches. I made one of the best club sandwiches ever and the dang thing has done nothing but leave me in a painful situation and an embarrassment to society. Which in fact gives me a laugh when Misty and the kids catch a whiff and scatter the living room leaving me, my stink, and the t.v. all to myself. Sometimes the good things in life just needs to be the passing of gas and control of the remote.