Crap in my garage, and bums

Misty and I wanted to see some friends of ours (new baby) so we went about our Saturday doing what we do but sort of on edge. Not mad, but we all felt as Misty would put it "jostled" which means give me my space. So off we went to SLC, thought we could make a pit stop at one of our favorite soda holes, Hearts on 7200 south. While stopped at the light, we talked about how on edge we were feeling and that Satan was working against us, so I thought I would thwart him off by doing something good? Everyone has seen a bum, not just your hind end parts, but the ones at the corner asking for your money mostly. I spotted me a bum, and sure enough he was taking hand outs so I gathered my handful of car change and just as I was rolling down my window... raised my arm to hand out the money.... eye contact was made between the bum and me... he made his move closer... he stepped off the sidewalk... walked toward me... my window all the way down, arm extended... closer... then the light changed! Traffic began to move, he stepped back onto the side walk, but my arm was outside the window, I had a choice to make, a decision that would make me a better man, a kind, giving man, a man my wife could be proud of, then I decided. I flung the change at him and punched the gas! How crappy a person am I! I threw money at a poor person, and I feel so bad because of it. I didn't look back but I am sure he got my few dollars in change and a life lesson, time your begging with the flow of traffic. We got our sodas, saw the new angel, and made merry on our way back home. Now as far as kids messing around with my stuff goes, my little miscreants scatter all my tools, sticks, bikes, water bottles, toys, boxes, dirt, and anything else they deem necessary to scatter in my garage. Garages are for two things, provide shelter for my crap and shelter for fixing my crap. I have storage boxes, lawn mower, cars, bikes, just too much crap for my garage to handle. Sometimes I feel like it's a popcorn bag waiting to bust open. I am grateful for my abused garage though.

El Whappo What is a Plethera anyway? -Heffey

Does anyone remember The Three Amigos? If not I suggest checking it out. I was on the phone at work, talking with a vendor about some parts for a construction job. I had to ask the person on the other line to repeat himself a couple of times because of his heavy South American accent. I was as polite as I could be, but it is my job to get the right information the fist time, so I went as far as has having him use phone code. Me: "Opw Pisces part number 54344-009 test boot 150 psi net price and list price please." Vendor: "Es costa net 355.00 doolars, lisst prices es 540.80 doolars" Me: "I want to confirm the shipping, please use our UPS collect acct." Vendor: "Okay, shippes UPS costa added to prices with yous account." I tried to be nice, then I simply asked for another person to help me finish my order. I can't say that I wasn't getting help, but the help I was getting wasn't helping me. My three year old daughter could have done a better job. Is getting good service becoming a thing of the past? A few months ago we went to Idaho to see my family, along the road there are some stops we mean to stop at. Well this trip was different, kids were okay, we felt like we didn't need to stop so we kept going, past Snowville Utah, Kamrynn says those dreaded words, "I got to go pee." Luckily we are a few miles away from the Sinclair gas station I think problem solved, we unload step into the Sinclair and the large Marge woman behind the counter says to me, first thing, "you'll have to put shoes on her feet before you shop here." Now I thought for a moment, maybe the floors are dirty and she thinks Kamrynn would be harmed or something, but her attitude and pointing of her fingers in jester made a different impression, so I gathered my family and left. I wanted to let Kamrynn pee on the wall of that gas station, I would have if Misty hadn't been against it.

I Swear, tractor's is so dumb -Mater

Scene: Overpass, commuters everywhere, bridge, merging lanes, seagulls nice sunshine day.
Scene 2: Semi-truck with trailer, bridge, merging lanes, seagull comes swooping into previously mentioned semi, whoola guts Ala roadkill. It was Gross. Made me think of Mater and the fact that tractors are a lot like seagulls, dumb. I also thought about Idaho drivers and how they have the habit of staring at you as you pass them, as if you are lost or part of there lost family. Creepy. I have to say that driving is an art, it takes skill, concentration, and you have no choice but to trust the fool in the jacked up chevy to do the same? Yeah, and Grizzly Adams had a beard! People on the road during my commute act differently on the road at different times, I have noticed that when I leave at 7 a.m. then traffic is not in a mad craze, now if I leave at 7:30 whoa look out! Crazies everywhere, and it's not like my gently used car has a vendetta against said jacked chev, but come on a-hole get off my Canadian Arse!
I use the slow {senior} lane for a reason, every driving course I have ever taken says to pass on the left, not the right where all the aged and road tested vehicles are. So to you bloated gas hogs on the road I say kiss it, kiss it good, both cheeks, right here, mmmmmuh. I mean, really if I am on the left side of the road and going slower than that of the traffic, by all means run me down. I can't stand slow drivers in the fast lane, its dangerous. Stop playing cop, you are putting me in danger. Thus proving the point don't be a dumb tractor.

Sean Hannity his brother Rush Limbaugh, and his other brother Micheal Savage

So i watched the Jazz loose the other night, which stunk because they could have won. I listened to the commentary of the game and I didn't want to hear about the amazing player match-up that would decide the out come of the game, or the percentage of home wins vs. road wins or free throw percentage, who's on first, what's on second...blah, blah, blab just tell me when those cute girls are gonna jump out on the court with those daisy dukes and dance.. monkey. All I want is the score, nothing else, just the score. It made me think of R.C. Willy, who has a sale if it is parent-teacher conference, or national kick your neighbors dog day. Everything seems to be imploded in the media and I Afton wonder where is the real news, certainly not on FOX 13, I love it when the fox people finish a live story covering all the mookie stinks around the Wasatch front, stories like, little old lady gets whacked over the head by some bum in Pioneer park, only on FOX 13, just you watch the best. I guess it isn't so bad for KSL, Debbie blah, blah, blah uncovers the hidden dangers in your bathroom, next on KSL. What is worse the radio mongers of Rush, Sean, and his other brothers Bill o'Riley, Micheal Savage. I guess it just turns me away when they open their mouths to criticize and explain the right way to do things is yada yada yada, liberals and Democrats piss me off, when they close their three hour tirade, it is always now go getcha a steak at blah blah steak house, tell 'em Sean sent ya. Or how Rush signed a 94 bazillion dollar radio deal. I would rather rip my heart right out of my rib cage and then throw it on the floor and stop on it 'til I die, then spend one more minute listening to them, thanks Weird Al for putting it right. I guess I was just sad that the jazz lost, and I really hate R.C. Willy commercials.

Nipple balm

That's right, you have heard the term bag balm, utter butter, and cream o'utter-butter etc. I am here to tell you that this stuff isn't just for cows, and achy cracked nipple sufferers, no this whiz cures nasty feet. Not only am I the president of nipple balm, I'm a client! This stuff cured my nasty 'ol foot of all it's ailments, no Gypsy voodoo magic could. For some time I have had one foot that always looked like fungus-amongus, not anymore. Remember the Adam Sandler movie Mr. Deeds, Emilio struck Deed's frost-bite black foot, yeah not quite that bad but close. I don't know why this stuff is advertised for lady nipple woahs, I mean I could market this stuff to men and make a killing calling it a miricle cure-foot bag balm-nipple healer-all-in-one cure. But wait there's more, if you call in the next ten minutes we'll send you two foot-bagbalm-nipple healer wonder cure bottles for the price of one, that's right TWO bottles for $19.95....oh the horror. Sorry Misty for my bad foot.

I like AC/DC

Am I going to go to hell for this? I love the banging of the drums, the whaling of the guitars, and the yelling of "Back in Black" or "Highway to Hell". Does it constitute a passion for distruction? I once took Misty to the Dee Events Center to see Sawyer Brown, a country group we both like, the opening act was a cover band that sang nothing like Dixie. There was an older couple dressed in biker garb, swinging and laughing and looking like something you see on a nature program about the migration and mating habits of polor bears, they looked awful. We both laughed to ourselves and now I think, good for you polar bears show the world that you can mate during hippie music. Does listening to AC/DC really motovate people to be oblivious to reality? I know I can't get giggy wth'it. God loves those people too.
I still like AC/DC.

A friend called Jar-d

Remember that song called a boy named sue? Well that song has nothing to do with Jared, or Jar-d as I've been know to call 'em. See sometimes you get to have one friend that you grew up with, got into trouble with, and managed to somehow keep in touch. I have a friend who now lives in Texas, he wants to be a chiropractor (joint smasher) he has a good sense of humor, but lacks the part of a joke that puts the final "zinger" to rest. I think he likes to hear himself talk personally. I say that last part only because off and on we have been fighting about the true final out come of a basketball game played back before playgrounds started putting in those wood chips on the ground because it would prevent injury. See, we played a basketball game that went all day, during our recess time. He still believes he won, of course he thinks that it was okay to be a Minico Spartan, which we all know isn't, still clueless. Jared is a good friend, always busy doing something, he is a pretty driven guy. I still can't believe he wanted to move to Texas?!! I know a little about Texas, on account of the mission in Houston and all, great people, awesome place to visit, but whoo wee no thanks. I hope Jared appreciates his wife, we all still can't believe he got so lucky. His marriage is a mystery only the heaven's could answer. He got extremely lucky. Jar-d, my friend from Idaho who now lives in Texas. Thanks for being my friend.