Sunday, October 9, 2011

Fantasy Foozeball

I took it too serious, called people whom I don't even know Sarah Pallin voters, supporters, and that is worse then being called a jock strap, or a sweaty jock strap. I shouldn't have said that, but the fact is everyone voted against ME! You heartless group of sweaty jock straps!
I'll take my 1-4 record all the way to.... the bottom of a 12 player league. So sad that I've become sorta obsessed with making a computer generated program a source of entertainment, wait scratch that isn't that what blogging is about?? I may be using "social networking" as a vehicle to talk some make believe smack but who cares. That brings me to my other useless tangent. T.V. and calling it entertainment. This world moves too fast, and t.v. brings out all the wrong about moving fast. Commercialism is motivation for all the wrong things in life. Well to a point, don't take away Top Gear for instance, epic show, while I don't understand the fascination with tuning into a show like Dancing With The Stars, what sane person does that? I don't know anymore, but I'm going off into many rants and tangents and I say why the hell not. Who's gonna read this anyway not my mother, she can't"log in" to save her life! So I think in the end boasting about fantasy football on the internet is almost like supporting the Ellen show or Dancing with lame-o's show or any other "entertainment" you want to insert (here). I think we should all spend more time watching our kids play, better yet play with 'em.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Christmas and my Camry

So I blew up my Camry, not literal but close. The orphans (Zach & Kammi) enjoyed a good Christmas. Misty and I will do better next time with the scheduling of decor, time with family, and the whole what to buy the orphans next time.

The use of the scout motto could have helped us out a bit. Back to the Camry, don't feel bad for me because I blew up the car. I suppose this has taught me a lesson about preparedness or some gospel principle that I clearly overlooked. Maybe the whole blown up car that you need to commute to work and shuttle kids around with necessity really isn't? Maybe I am suppose to be Amish? Maybe I am suppose to move around on horse and buggy? I don't know but I should really focus on the good things about using one car to do all the things our family does. We share a car to go to work in, we car pool, and we like to go get an occasional soda.
All of these activities are fun for me because I get to hangout with Misty. She's cute and she doesn't take up a lot of space like the kids do. You see kids need extra space for toys or books, or whatever fluffy thing they can drag into the car with them. I hate that about kids. I never got to drag around a bunch of toys except when it was parade time. What is that all about anyway, have today's parents gone soft and started using other means to occupy the minds of a child? I beleive in electronic babysitters, i.e. movies, portable dvd players, games, books, whatever as long as the kid doesn't bother me while I drive I'm good with it. When I was a kid we packed into a station wagon (my dad really hated it) which is the equivalent of today's mini-van and bounced around the back seat until my mom could reach back with her short arm and whack us upside the head trying to get us to settle down. I think I am doing my kid a favor and saving the beating by allowing the electronic babysitter to do it's job.

Kids keep me up at night, make me worry about dental and life insurance. These worries give me nightmares and make me fatter then I want to be. I have night terrors about the future thoughts of both my kids driving, dating, high school!!!! I just don't know if I want to stay in this game of life for the long haul. I think knowing now what it takes to make a family operate makes me fear for when the time comes for my offspring to make the choice to have a family. It's no picnic and the economical effects really suck rocks. On the other hand the things that my family does, has made me laugh. I am learning about comedic timing from Kammi, she has a cleaver way of inserting random movie lines from kid shows - light bulb. I feel like I am part of something other then myself too so don't get the feeling like this is a pity party, except yes it is feel bad for me and give me your money.
Family isn't it about time, sometimes no, it isn't. Sometimes people shouldn't have large families, or small families or get together at all. Sometimes when I people watch at Costco I wonder when I see a couple together I think to myself who let that happen? What brought that mess together and thought it was a good idea? Sometimes I get a sharp pain in my ribs because I forget to shut my mouth and say those things out loud. Misty is quick. I do have a really good family, and good on me I know, because of Misty. I always get compliments about my girlfriend, wife, eternal comp. whatever term you like best insert here. I choose sweetheart, it's my favorite.
So wish me luck in getting the Camry back into service. I am so close but I hate being close I just want it to be finished.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Who the crap are you people

So I checked this blog and found a lot of weirdos "following" this thing along. I thought this strange so I blocked you, whoever you are really. Besides, this blog is my way of sharing thoughtlessness at it's best in my own verse and it's not for you. Perhaps I should make this a private verse.

Misty's book will be published and I am excited for her to see her work progress into something rewarding for her. Maybe she can take me to dinner!?

Kam's and Misty's birthday are coming up too, I should take them to dinner! I am not sure what I can do for them, she doesn't care for surprises and Kam just wants a girl party. Whatever that is, my mom use to be really good at putting parties together, perhaps I'll ask her opinion. Speaking of family, it's been some time since I've been up to Idaho. I do miss the fall colors, the mountains that I am familiar with. I hope that by next year I will have a different vehicle to venture into the hills around here. Lots of neat places here locally that not even the locals know about. Anyway, how about those Utes! It was awesome to see them get routed by TCU, I always thought the Utes had a soft schedule this year anyway. I do wish them luck the rest of the way except for the B Y U vrs. Utah game, we all know I want B Y U to pound them into the turf.

What's the deal with medical commercials on t.v. lately. Side effects include. This is a fact about the medicine. The fact is that the side effects are going to affect you beyond whatever the medicine is going to do. Amazing, that side effects are so prevalent in the commercial. I can't wait until the medical commercials show a happy family sitting together on a hill side having a picnic when the mom reaches for a soda with her third arm growing out of her arse because of the side effects!

I'm just saying that this could be the normal possibility for Zach and Kam when they reach my age. What will the world hold for them?

Can't wait to get over this cold/Flu either. Love Zinc and Zicam, so far the effects of the flu are suppressed. Hopefully I can get past the sore throat, I haven't had a sore throat in a long time.
this one actually hurt this morning thus we missed all the important baptisms today, Meg, and a couple of kids from my primary class got dunked today. I'm sure it was spiritual even without my presence.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Blog's and Youtube.

These two youtube posts are some of my favorite. I just wanted to share the comedy of Conan, because that's one awesome giant leprechaun. I think old Conan is much better as far as comedy skits go then the Conan of the Tonight Show era. Too bad about that, I still haven't watched two minutes of Jay Leno. Suck it hard Leno.
The other guy is equally funny. AC/DC is one of my favorite metal bands, but this guy hits the nail on the head, all metal songs are crappy in some form or another. Metal is about being loud after all, not soft and cute like country music.

I also have a grip against handy cap's. Handicap. What words comes to mind for you? For me, I think of a serious disability, uncomfortable set back, discouragement, and Tiger Woods.
Now when I say the word parking with the word handicap what do you think of? I think provided, looked out for, elderly, physically inept. I however also think anger, frustration, and I have more insurance so beat it or I'm going to beat that shinny red VW bug into pieces!

Have a look around while at your favorite grocery store and just see what types of vehicles are parked in the handicapped spaces. I am amazed to find fancy pants cars, and huge trucks. I always expect a mini-van with the slide out ramp, but only on occasion have I actually witnessed a true handicap vehicle occupying a handicap parking spot.

Often times it's a perfectly able person who walks upright, and appears perfectly healthy. When I see cars parked in a handicap space I want to see a gimpy person with a peg leg. Com'on what does an average white guy gotta do to get some respect? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here, I mean the sign clearly has a picture of a wheelchair. So give me a wheelchair effort here people.

Jim Breuer Ac/Dc


Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Fast Food Service Sucks other things I hate

Welcome to my post of things I hate. Letterman has his top ten, Leno has his headlines, Radio from Hell has things that must go. So I have mine, Dave's Things I Hate and Other Shenanigans.
I think this title comes from having 1. too much time to think about the crap that I shouldn't have to put up with and 2. I think about the worst possible outcome for every situation then try to make fun of it.

So here I am in heading toward my mid 30's (ouch) and I am enjoying the prime of life when I notice the stupid things happening all around me. I have become really aware of people and their stupid kids, and beyond that; their is stupid t.v., music, and entertainment.

I have learned a few things about people. Jack Handy was right, “I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.” end quote.

Here is my list of things:

1. The Rudy Giuliani motivational speech commercial....
So a bunch of famous has beens/are nows are getting together and want me to pay them to hear about how "infamous" they may/or may not be, to motivate my sales team. The highlight of the show is Sarah Palin via satellite. She works for Fox news now, the news source that never lies to America because they love America and support our soldiers. I do feel sad for Rudy, he was an American hero not long ago. These famous people that want for me to achieve my own personal success will only charge me $19 bucks. That's a fair price to pay to have to endure all the smug they will spill out. I wonder if the venue will offer a smug protection suit? I simply can't believe that the carnival of motivational circus freaks are coming here. I wonder what will be next? Probably a Nickelback concert.

2. The dude in the Prius blasting NWA Cop Killer
Not that I am against the prius or have a problem with choice of music the man was listening too, but that the two were put together. I thought most hippie's lived in downtown SLC. This guy was a compete dushe. Passing the Stansbury Park police sub-station with Cop Killer cranked and the windows down is a dumb act.

3. Children of the corn....
Parents be on time with things you are suppose to be on time for. Unless there is hell fire or a serious running of the bulls get your kids to primary on time. Be accountable, I am expected to be so why can't you? Parents, before you bring your precious little ones to my class warn them that if they don't shut up, listen to the lesson, and wait to be called on, Bro. Moncur is going to grab there bottom lips and yank them over their heads. Class will go so much smoother if it's understood that having a bottom lip in it's proper place is a good thing.
I don't know why I am teaching kids anyway, this is my 3rd or 4th go around with Primary or scouts. Man, I really can hate the things kids do.

4. Work Punks
A thank you goes a long ways, and kind words really do work wonders on cold hearts. That being said do me wrong once and shame on me for letting you do that to me when I helped you. Do it to me twice and I will forever remember. Ask me to lift you out of the pit and I will simply forget to hear your voice. Don't ask me to do your job and mine without saying thank you, it really does go a long way.

5. Political Hacks
I can't stand political rhetoric. I hate media programs that call themselves news when in fact they should be called entertainment. Case in point, the daily show with John Stewart he has it right when he calls himself an entertainment program. Sean, Bill, Rush, and all the like need to follow after this lead. It's my opinion that Sean, Rush, and Bill are simply entertainers. Putting on a show that promotes only themselves. To them I say boys,
the fact of the matter is the voting polls are now closed. You had your turn, please wait for your next turn in 4 years to cast your vote, A$$. Be informed, make a choice and stick with it crybabies.

I will close now with some good Tillamook ice cream. Great stuff... mmmm.

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