My Mother Doesn't "Get Me"

Even when I was a kid, I am sure she didn't know exactly what to do with me, to be fair does any parent know exactly what to do? Vague question I know.

I think this holiday season I have learned more this year then in years past. I hate cats. Growing up I loved them, kept them, and took the mangy alley cat in as a pet. I like dogs, always will. Loyal plain and simple.

I am protective as to what matters most, what comes first, and the safety of my family. Getting old sucks. Time and money matter. The time invested makes my money disappear, kids make my money disappear. Sometimes I am getting a mediocre return for my money.

I like Misty. She is awesome, I got lucky. Holiday travel sucks, I don't care to drive to Idaho like I use too. I hate I-84, I hate the gas stops along the way, and I don't even miss Switzer Pass. I like my house, the space, and the master bathroom. The best feature is the two separate sinks. My son is a reading machine, eating machine, and talented. He took the time to draw an entire book himself. Words, editing, and pictures all by himself and he did it! He gets that from his mother, he loves math and can spell better then me. Which isn't really bragging. I didn't fare well in school.

Kamrynn isn't too far off from being like me. She works hard at the things that are important to her, weather you want it to be or not. Call it stubborn, I call it priority. She gets her priorities together and nothing else matters at the time. The house could be on fire, but she will make sure her hair got combed first. That can be a great thing and a nightmare.

My mother doesn't get me, she calls and if I don't pick up right away she says when I call her back after voicemail, her first words are "why didn't you pick up?" assuming that I am screening her call, or ignoring her precious phone call. As often as she calls me, maybe once every month or two. She loves to talk with her grand babies, and it's her right as grandma. I would like her to spend more time with them, but she is sick all the time. No fault of her own. She doesn't know me, not well enough to understand my lack of humor or my quick wit. Who knows maybe in a year or two she will catch on. I am at least finding out more and more that the family you have now, is the one that matters most.

Coming To Terms

Sounds like a contract doesn't the phrase terms and coming to agreement. Contract, final, and permanent. Stone, and forever. I was just thinking about where I am at in life. My family, my beautiful wife, children, all of these things that surround me that make me alive.

I thought about commitment, how it takes desire to see something through until finished. How sacrifice makes the end result taste sweet. Misty and I are now raising our children in a more permanent setting, something to be said about finding your place in a ward. I never would admit that the Lord really puts you where you will do good work for him, or that there is actually a place for you to belong. I am a believer of that now, I always thought life is what you make it to be. What you want it to become and I do believe that, but also that your control isn't always yours. That you are not the cap'n but a stooge mopping up the deck. I find myself coming to terms with belonging and caring enough to see my family grow into something more. I realize that sentence sounds cold, but I seem to get caught up in things that don't matter. I rationalize the trivial things, the need to always focus on pointless matters, like the kids bedrooms, the organization of the garage, or making sure that those dam cats don't linger too long in my living room. I like animals, just not in my house. My house, I work hard for it.

Anyway, just thinking about terms and agreements. Monetary agreements seem endless, thank goodness for the eternal ones that I can count on. The lesson I think I am suppose to learn here this past week it not to sweat the small things, but be focused enough to realize a plan of action needs to take place, then to present the idea to higher powers, take action. I want to quit spinning my wheels and actually hit second, third, and really slam it hard into fourth gear. Sometimes I get fed up with being a stick in the mud, or having that feeling around the house. It carries over into work, soccer practice, and home life. I have to say that I don't watch out enough when I start to feel this way, I don't act quickly enough to recognize the situation before I can solve it. It's like a cold that hits you after you just played basketball the day before.

Commitments. I have a greater understanding of them, and being committed, I just want to always have the right action.

Excess Body Hair

I think I have a new phobia, Trichopathophobia or fear of excess body hair. Persons with hudge amounts of unkept facial hair need to know that I wig out. Who needs nightmares when you can have images of nasty nose hair. Handlebar mustaches bug me too.

My next phobia really isn't a phobia as much as a problem with the people that other people may or may not look up too. I oppose each one.

1. Al Sharpton “White folks was [sic] in caves while we was building empires.... We taught philosophy and astrology and mathematics before Socrates and them Greek homos ever got around to it.” Sharpton defended his comments by noting that the term "homo" was not homophobic but added that he no longer uses the term. Sharpton has since called for an end to homophobia in the African-American community.

2.Rush Limpnuts. Talk-radio titan Rush Limbaugh is being investigated for allegedly buying thousands of addictive painkillers from a black-market drug ring.The moralizing motormouth was turned in by his former housekeeper - who says she was Limbaugh's pill supplier for four years.Wilma Cline, 42, says Limbaugh was hooked on the potent prescription drugs OxyContin, Lorcet and hydrocodone - and went through detox twice.

I have more on all this but lame things going across my mind right now so I think it best that I stop. Nose hair it's not pretty. Al, Rush, Bill O'Riley, Sean, Glen,

all you a$$ hats that think you know better for our country, and for me keep sitting on your butts talking on the radio how you know better then the elected officials just baffles my mind. Stay on your butts, and keep selling more New York steak, promote more useful products like Just For Men and stay out of politics.

Okay I am done. Really, I think public school is stupid too. Zach can just about read 3rd. grade books and yet his teacher thinks he should be reading one word, yes really one word books. I really can't wait for PTA, so I slipped a note in his homework asking the teacher to challenge him, she must have gotten the note because he has harder books to read from. I asked for it, but I know Zach can do it.

I want a New York steak now.

Lack of a Title

Today I was thinking about the common process of people doing stupid things, myself included. I am taking credit here for coining a new idea. "Idiot-ology"- I belive a process of being an idiot really exists among us, and the formula is at least applicable mathematically. S@#! happens. People in my industry make work harder then it has to be. No case in point, but I'll just say this the right communication goes a long way.

Hospitals-

Mountain West Medical Center, Tooele Utah. I hope no one I know has to go to the hospital. Recently Misty caught the pneumonia from some grubby co-worker, neighborhood kid, or from the biker bar, Large Marge's on Highway 36. In the five days that Misty was there we saw a different doctor each time. The communication between each doctor was pathetic! Getting an answer about the type of treatment or finding out what the "game plan" from the doctor(s) was a disaster. Having a family doctor would have saved so much headache. Lesson learned. Also, Nurses are not doctors and should not give advice as though they are doctors. Following medical direction at Mountain West Hospital was like witnessing a live episode of Bevis and Butthead. I hope in the future Misty and I will be the wiser.

Imagine custom wheels, big tires, and a man on a cell phone racing down I-80. To the Hummer H3 driver on my commute: advertising self-defense, S.W.A.T. training, and a number of other defense courses, the advertisement is plastered all over the vehicle. Coming home tonight from Salt Lake on what I call the Autobahn I-80 West I came upon Mr. H3 driver. His advertisement was tough, rugged, and mach-o but the dude driving the H3 was 5' nothing and fat. As I drove past I could only think, isn't that ironic.

Ode to the "Peppy Prius driver guy"
I use to be this driver on the road, the one zipping by swerving in and out of traffic lanes. I had a knock off sporty car, the Chevy Beretta GTZ. It could hug the road and took out a couple hot shot Honda's back in the day (1999-2001 R.I.P.) Lately I think twice about how I drive on the highway. Coming home from work I saw a Prius driver blasting through traffic as if he was driving home to Selma Hayek in which case this post would be different. I know how he feels like he is in control of his vehicle, how he swerves in and out of the fast lane passing cars in both lanes, how he thinks that by doing these maneuvers he is going to beat every time trial record ever set. I ask myself "how badly does anyone need to get to Tooele anyway?" Yet there he goes, zip! zamm! swoosh! down the highway. The Hybrid driver. Yep, green and hippie, but really how sporty is the Prius? When I sold cars at Tony Divino Toyota ( I know, sounds like a mob boss) the training for the Prius was simply, it's green not mean.

Blue Hair Crowded in Front of Me

Scene of the crime: Costco Food Court. Time: Lunch, I was starving.
I was on assignment to find replacement bathroom paper towels that our office could buy locally, and not have to spend $120 dollars for a 12 pack box of dispenser towels. Having found out that Costco doesn't offer the style required to fit our type of dispenser I thought at least I should grab lunch while the lunch line was short. As I approached the food court I noticed two lines, two cash registers, and two helpful food people just begging to fetch me a slice of Costco pizza.... mmmmm... pizza. Then I saw the glow of blue frost bouncing off the waxed floor. My heart began to race a little, that is when I knew I wasn't alone. The Blue Hair was decked out in short shorts, running shoes, and those dark lenses, style of sunglasses that cover your whole face, as if they are high tech safety glasses. She was standing in the middle of the two cash registers waiting to pounce. A man with his young daughter, maybe 6 years old was about to tell the cashier their order when the Blue Hair butted-in with strong force, and asked for a cup from the cashier. The cashier stopped what she was doing, the man and daughter first looked puzzled but then realized what they were up against, and quickly bowed down as if this person was the Alpha dog. The cashier gave the blue hair the cup. I didn't noticed that the Blue Hair had left, I was busy thinking about what sort of evil plan the Blue Hair was about to unfold, when thinking that perhaps the Blue Hair was short changed a cup when she bought her hot dog or something rational like that, or...was something else afoot here? Was the Blue Hair hatching an evil plan to take over the food court? I was about to find out! It appeared so, because the man and daughter took their food and left leaving me next in line. As I approached the cashier, I made a glance over my shoulder, and jumped a few inches avoiding any possible contact as the Blue Hair was standing right next to me! Sneaking up by my side like a cold Ninja, it came back with a vengeance! She cut me off, faster then Dale Earnhardt at the Daytona 500! Cut off MY chance of getting to MY seat with MY pizza to enjoy MY lunch time bliss only to ask for napkins?! "Napkins" I said, are near the soda machine. I pulled myself back a little further distancing myself from the Blue Hair as I was expecting a purse shot to the ribs. I waited for retaliation, expecting the rib ringer, but what to my surprise? She simply turns, and leaves to the soda machine. Completing my transaction, I ate my lunch knowing that the duty to God award I got from Bishop Brown was just a hoax. Senior citizens beware, I am no longer taking your crap, you can just sit in your pull-up for all I care. Until next time Blue Hair, I will be watching. Oh P.S. My video card in my computer when out, that' a drag.

Last Names

Thoughts:

I drive a lot, I have been a "commuter" for several years now. My longest commute was from Tooele to Riverton, but I have seen much on the road, I-80, I-15, Banger, Old Bingham Highway, you name it I have commuted on it. I am always amused at what people drive on the road, amused at those "golf cart-looking" cars, PT Cruiser, Mini Cooper, the over sized trucks with little men in them, and the always delightful "wingo's" you know the car with the spoiler (I got a spoiler for you, you will die alone inside joke) the sweet rims, low profile, and so forth. I can't get too far into how amusing these cars are to me, because I once thought my Chevy Beretta was one sweet taco. Swwweet ride huh. Back to my thought. Lately I have noticed a lot of vehicles with the last name plastered all over the back window. Words like "Sanchez," "Rodriguez," and the like, but never "Smith," or "Jones" I am sure Jones would be proud of his/her heritage because that is what I think these people are doing, they are proud to be Rodriguez, Sanchez, Taco-Burrito, and just want you to know it. Then there is the ultimate decal, the one that really gets me, no not the mini van with the bullets decal, or soccer smashed window, but the family decal, you know the one with the dad, mom, kids, and pets. These people are Bad_A#$$

The decal I find most disturbing is the "gay" family decal, the one with two women, kids, and pets. I once saw a decal in Tooele with two women, kids, pets, and grandma. Now that is trying to be discrete, gay power it's on the move. It really is cool to be "gay," that douche bag judge ranting about Miss "Hoe" California wanted to make the pageant a gay spot light. You think about it what do you remember about the pageant at all? Nothing, except hot chicks, and the gay argument. I don't want you to get the wrong image, I am not being a "hater" but I just think their is enough noise about being gay. When do I get a break for being married, when do I get a whole media blitz for my eight years of marriage? I just have to laugh at the whole thing when I think about it. Anyway enjoy the bumper stickers out there on the road. http://www.familystickers.com The guy who creates these stickers could care less, Rodriguez, lesbo, or whatever as long as you are buying.

B Y U UTAH and Aggies

It's just too bad. Perhaps B Y U could have gone further in the NCAA tournament if.... well to many what ifs about them. Utah and Luke Neville showed some skill but faded(candle blown out for effect.) The Aggie's were my one hope. The team that had been known for it's awesome home wining stretches, and NCAA busting abilities. Whiff just like that all the reason for the season gone.

Other things of interest. I like face book, it's convent. Quick notes to friends and your done. Long talks with family and your done.

More things of interest dang cat. Howling all night, I am ready to skin it, drown it, turn it into a coat or some gloves. Perhaps one last try to save the animal, a trip to the vet. The animal is spade, but the howling has got to go!

Garden stuff. Let's talk about it, here we are in the first week of April and winter has perhaps stopped for us in Stansbury, maybe not. Storm after storm, I am ready for spring to arrive. Our kitchen looks like a green house with all the starts for the garden. My boss from work gave me some good advice about mulch and his garden secrets. I just want some warm weather to start digging. Misty wants to plant and get things in the ground this weekend.

Projects. I am a little leary of them. I did get a 1000 watt dimmer, and replaced the 600 watt one. I have a couch that is 80% rebuilt and another set that will require some cleaning, minor repair, and couch covers. The curtains are 90% done, our room is 80% painted with the new colors.

On and on it goes. Moab was a great break for me. I wish we could have spent more time doing different hikes and climbs. I enjoy the outdoors more then I think my wife does.

I have fixed my car window twice. Our old green car..... poor thing needs put down, but I sorta am proud to keep it going without having to put much money into it. http://innermamablogue.blogspot.com/2008/02/my-car-is-canadian.html

Well that's it. No more. C-ya

Facebook

Surprisingly addicting. I find myself looking for people I knew about from years ago. I like to people watch, people search, and generally be a little nosy. Maybe I am this way because I don't keep in touch with friends. This is really just your fault. New topic: A potential grocery store here in Stansbury is materializing. There is a Stansbury group that is making it possible for a grocery store to move into Stansbury, that's great 'cause Maverick is such an awesome place for produce.

I got a tow hitch now and am searching for a good deal on a 5' x 10' trailer. KSL people get a clue, I am not going to pay $550.00 for your used trailer when I can spend $645.00 for a new one. I just don't get it.

Got an Air Brushed Jewel on my desktop

So I got this air brushed picture of Jewel (the singer) on my desk top. She's smokin' hot. I understand the whole digital correction, but wow, some dude that went to years and years of air brush school, and poof! I got a hot jewel on my desk top. America is grand. I also got some junk at the auction off of 5600 West on Saturday. By far the most fun I have had in... that isn't true. I did have moments of fun bidding out old ladies for trinkets. Stompin' on old ladies, what a true non steroid game that is. Danny and Rob went and I sort of butted myself in and went. Rob was smart enough to suggest breakfast at McDonald's (by far the only reason they are in business). I was hoping to get some bargain buy that would just baffle the mind but that truly didn't come without a price. I bid on a busted air compressor, I paid $50.00 dollars it will need possibly $5.00 to get it to work. A new air compressor of similar size is $48.00 dollars. You do the math. The next item is a couch. I thought this would be a grand steal of the day. A leather and micro-fiber combination, which would easily sell for $500.00. My winning bid, $30.00 bucks, but I figure I will have to put a few hours into fixing the frame and cost of supplies makes my couch a $100.00 "project". The last item was sort of a surprise. I paid $30.00 dollars for a new in the box camcorder, 16 mega pixel camera, and mp3 player. It is by far the deal that made strapping that couch into a packed 4Runner, 55 mph down I-80, and a worried wife all worth it.

I also got a couple of kitchen chairs for $10 bucks. I lost a fabric bid to a Relief Society councilor but she took pity on me and let me buy 28 yards from her for $10 bucks. That was christian. Thanks Rob and Danny for some fun times.

SUPER "RIP-OFF" Bowl

Does anyone else feel cheated? Ben Hamburger didn't appear in the game until the last minute, Why wasn't James Harrison ejected? ... He's a great player, but his cheap shot on Aaron Francisco in the fourth quarter was totally inexcusable. Cardinal defence apparently couldn't do anything without a flag. The game just left the impression that the NFL is more concerned about its business aspect, tied with endorsements and corporate money. Citi Bank spent 1 million of its bail-out fund to sponsor the Super Bowl. It's things of that nature that take any fun out of the sport. It's dirty and not a true sport when money seems to rule the out come. I wonder what incentives the ref's got for making such a spectacle. I realize that this is late, but worth it right? What about Pres. Obama lettin' all the private business in America get a hand on 780 billion does that chap anyone else's hide? Anyway Country Jam is coming in June to Grand Junction Colorado and I want to go hang with the country hippies sounds like fun huh. I am ready for the spring to arrive, not so much about the hot days of summer but spring would be great. In March I hope to take our family to Moab and get lost for a few days. There is a great place that James and Heather showed us years ago at a KOA with cabins for relatively cheap. Moab always amazes me. Anyway I am looking forward to some good times this spring and looking forward to welcoming the warmer weather.

Twisted Thoughts during Sacrament

So I was thinking about movie lines and primary. I haven't been involved with primary now for about a year which is a nice break on account of our tour of duty both in Benson Mill ward and previous wards. Primary is one crack up after another. Kids all being herded into a small room overcrowded like public school, it's a great sight. Over weight teachers that get stuck sitting upon the small chairs because all the other adult chairs magically disappear. Sunbeams that are fresh from the at home potty training course's, most of them just didn't quite get the diploma's they need. All singing at the top of their lungs I am like a star shinning brightly.... I absolutely could not take myself serious but wait it gets better. A member of the bishopric steps into the room, a hush over the crowd befalls our youngsters as this magical man relates a story about how he wants all of us to listen to our teacher's and obey the prophet. I am amazed at how this member of the bishopric becomes candy to the kids, they love visitors it guess. So now to the movie lines, I was sitting in sacrament today thinking about the good things in life and how I am blessed when a thought popped into my head: I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot. That is a great movie line. I'll tell you what I'm doing. I want to buy eight hot dogs and eight hot dog buns to go with them. But no one sells eight hot dog buns. They only sell twelve hot dog buns. So I end up paying for four buns I don't need. So I am removing the superfluous buns. Yeah. And you want to know why? Because some big-shot over at the wiener company got together with some big-shot over at the bun company and decided to rip off the American public. Because they think the American public is a bunch of trusting nit-wits who will pay for everything they don't need rather than make a stink. Well they're not ripping of this nitwit anymore because I'm not paying for one more thing I don't need. Everything in this room is eatable, even *I'm* eatable! But that is called "cannibalism," my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. Character 1: I eat pieces of *crap* like you for breakfast.Character 2: You eat pieces of *crap* for breakfast? Zoolander, Happy Gilmore, the freaky new Willy Wonka show, and the weiner comment all came to mind while I was contemplating my place in the cosmos during sacrament. I would hope that humor is a big part of the afterlife. I would hate to be at the big conference in the sky and not be able to crack a joke. Also I realized that I am susceptible to Salomi club sandwiches. I made one of the best club sandwiches ever and the dang thing has done nothing but leave me in a painful situation and an embarrassment to society. Which in fact gives me a laugh when Misty and the kids catch a whiff and scatter the living room leaving me, my stink, and the t.v. all to myself. Sometimes the good things in life just needs to be the passing of gas and control of the remote.

All The Stuff I Got

Everyone has stuff, lots of just stuff. I have a box full of cables, old cords, things that I am sure are meant to be thrown away and yet I have it. I was hoping to get rid of the odd stuff as we moved but I am still finding just boxes and more stuff. I really wished I would have let the box with all the "craft crap" fall out of the back of our 4 Runner (Mark calls it a Pilot) and smash all over the road, I wouldn't have stopped not even if it hit a little old lady waiting for the bus.

Misty and I have been really good at not collecting just things, or holding on to old worn out things, but I still find boxes of odd stuff. I am of the philosophy that if I can throw it away I will.

Switching gears, I am beating Misty to this post, she will have to tell you her side later.
Adam and Michelle, Steve and Kristin, and Teresa and all the babies came to pay us a visit, something Teresa, Kristin, and Misty have done each new year or as often as life permits is to make chili together and hang out. So we got to do Chili is fine '09 or something to that affect at our Moncur barn. Great friends, Misty changed her name to Juanita and made some really great tamales. The food was great, the company was the best! We are so grateful to have good friends.

Slow Day at the Office...and other random turd

It has been weeks, days, and a long time since we have had the net or decent t.v. at our home. The installer man claimed chicken and didn't want to work on the roof, and he didn't want to call me to reschedule a time to come back which further delays any service to our Moncur tavern.

I don't mind waiting, I don't mind being told to wait, but to not tell me what to expect just makes me want to come undone and punch you in the throat. Communication is key to so many stupid things, basically I think it comes down to the fact that I don't like people or, the idea of customer service. i like salad, mustard, and relish. I know how everything evolves around customer service.

I am customer service, I am the one talking kindly on the phone filling in other people's crappy requests while mine go unattended. Fast forward to tonight, I get to enjoy the net, watch whatever channel pleases me on the dish and play Wii with Zach and Kam, I don't like to play that thing with Zach on account that he has to be in charge and boss me around, what is worse is when he wins. He isn't humble about it, no he has to say mean things like, "you got beat by a five year old" or "your an old man". I know I can take him down pretty easy now but some day that kid will have a solid right hook. i like to play Wii with Kam because she shares and has no care in the world if she wins or looses. She just likes to play. Tonight was a real treat on account of the GAC channel showing Smokey and the Bandit. Classic show with all your favorite stars, Burt, and that old chic what does the commericals for Activa yogurt to keep you regular and your bones from busting when you reach for the Activa from your couch. Sally Fields that's the one. Anywho me and the little miss night owl got to watch to our hearts content. I did mention it was classic right?

Glad to have the net and good channel selection again. Can't wait for the super bowl. Oh yeah do the snow plows come to your hood 'cause we ain't getting much love in our hood. That last statement is courtesy of BET channel you know Black Entertainment Television, someday when I have a mint, I am going to blowup the satellite that broadcasts them. And while I am at it, those dang fools that call me from time to time wanting me to donate my money to the Negro College Fund. What the heck is that all about!? Are you joking me, call me racist but not only no but yeah no thanks. All in all it has been a pretty sweet 4 weeks, Christmas was good, new years was great and now I look forward to a nice end to winter because I am ready for spring! Okay all done here enjoy your weekend.