Lack of a Title
Today I was thinking about the common process of people doing stupid things, myself included. I am taking credit here for coining a new idea. "Idiot-ology"- I belive a process of being an idiot really exists among us, and the formula is at least applicable mathematically. S@#! happens. People in my industry make work harder then it has to be. No case in point, but I'll just say this the right communication goes a long way.
Hospitals-
Mountain West Medical Center, Tooele Utah. I hope no one I know has to go to the hospital. Recently Misty caught the pneumonia from some grubby co-worker, neighborhood kid, or from the biker bar, Large Marge's on Highway 36. In the five days that Misty was there we saw a different doctor each time. The communication between each doctor was pathetic! Getting an answer about the type of treatment or finding out what the "game plan" from the doctor(s) was a disaster. Having a family doctor would have saved so much headache. Lesson learned. Also, Nurses are not doctors and should not give advice as though they are doctors. Following medical direction at Mountain West Hospital was like witnessing a live episode of Bevis and Butthead. I hope in the future Misty and I will be the wiser.
Imagine custom wheels, big tires, and a man on a cell phone racing down I-80. To the Hummer H3 driver on my commute: advertising self-defense, S.W.A.T. training, and a number of other defense courses, the advertisement is plastered all over the vehicle. Coming home tonight from Salt Lake on what I call the Autobahn I-80 West I came upon Mr. H3 driver. His advertisement was tough, rugged, and mach-o but the dude driving the H3 was 5' nothing and fat. As I drove past I could only think, isn't that ironic.
Ode to the "Peppy Prius driver guy"
I use to be this driver on the road, the one zipping by swerving in and out of traffic lanes. I had a knock off sporty car, the Chevy Beretta GTZ. It could hug the road and took out a couple hot shot Honda's back in the day (1999-2001 R.I.P.) Lately I think twice about how I drive on the highway. Coming home from work I saw a Prius driver blasting through traffic as if he was driving home to Selma Hayek in which case this post would be different. I know how he feels like he is in control of his vehicle, how he swerves in and out of the fast lane passing cars in both lanes, how he thinks that by doing these maneuvers he is going to beat every time trial record ever set. I ask myself "how badly does anyone need to get to Tooele anyway?" Yet there he goes, zip! zamm! swoosh! down the highway. The Hybrid driver. Yep, green and hippie, but really how sporty is the Prius? When I sold cars at Tony Divino Toyota ( I know, sounds like a mob boss) the training for the Prius was simply, it's green not mean.
Blue Hair Crowded in Front of Me
Scene of the crime: Costco Food Court. Time: Lunch, I was starving.
I was on assignment to find replacement bathroom paper towels that our office could buy locally, and not have to spend $120 dollars for a 12 pack box of dispenser towels. Having found out that Costco doesn't offer the style required to fit our type of dispenser I thought at least I should grab lunch while the lunch line was short. As I approached the food court I noticed two lines, two cash registers, and two helpful food people just begging to fetch me a slice of Costco pizza.... mmmmm... pizza. Then I saw the glow of blue frost bouncing off the waxed floor. My heart began to race a little, that is when I knew I wasn't alone. The Blue Hair was decked out in short shorts, running shoes, and those dark lenses, style of sunglasses that cover your whole face, as if they are high tech safety glasses. She was standing in the middle of the two cash registers waiting to pounce. A man with his young daughter, maybe 6 years old was about to tell the cashier their order when the Blue Hair butted-in with strong force, and asked for a cup from the cashier. The cashier stopped what she was doing, the man and daughter first looked puzzled but then realized what they were up against, and quickly bowed down as if this person was the Alpha dog. The cashier gave the blue hair the cup. I didn't noticed that the Blue Hair had left, I was busy thinking about what sort of evil plan the Blue Hair was about to unfold, when thinking that perhaps the Blue Hair was short changed a cup when she bought her hot dog or something rational like that, or...was something else afoot here? Was the Blue Hair hatching an evil plan to take over the food court? I was about to find out! It appeared so, because the man and daughter took their food and left leaving me next in line. As I approached the cashier, I made a glance over my shoulder, and jumped a few inches avoiding any possible contact as the Blue Hair was standing right next to me! Sneaking up by my side like a cold Ninja, it came back with a vengeance! She cut me off, faster then Dale Earnhardt at the Daytona 500! Cut off MY chance of getting to MY seat with MY pizza to enjoy MY lunch time bliss only to ask for napkins?! "Napkins" I said, are near the soda machine. I pulled myself back a little further distancing myself from the Blue Hair as I was expecting a purse shot to the ribs. I waited for retaliation, expecting the rib ringer, but what to my surprise? She simply turns, and leaves to the soda machine. Completing my transaction, I ate my lunch knowing that the duty to God award I got from Bishop Brown was just a hoax. Senior citizens beware, I am no longer taking your crap, you can just sit in your pull-up for all I care. Until next time Blue Hair, I will be watching. Oh P.S. My video card in my computer when out, that' a drag.
