Who the crap are you people

So I checked this blog and found a lot of weirdos "following" this thing along. I thought this strange so I blocked you, whoever you are really. Besides, this blog is my way of sharing thoughtlessness at it's best in my own verse and it's not for you. Perhaps I should make this a private verse.

Misty's book will be published and I am excited for her to see her work progress into something rewarding for her. Maybe she can take me to dinner!?

Kam's and Misty's birthday are coming up too, I should take them to dinner! I am not sure what I can do for them, she doesn't care for surprises and Kam just wants a girl party. Whatever that is, my mom use to be really good at putting parties together, perhaps I'll ask her opinion. Speaking of family, it's been some time since I've been up to Idaho. I do miss the fall colors, the mountains that I am familiar with. I hope that by next year I will have a different vehicle to venture into the hills around here. Lots of neat places here locally that not even the locals know about. Anyway, how about those Utes! It was awesome to see them get routed by TCU, I always thought the Utes had a soft schedule this year anyway. I do wish them luck the rest of the way except for the B Y U vrs. Utah game, we all know I want B Y U to pound them into the turf.

What's the deal with medical commercials on t.v. lately. Side effects include. This is a fact about the medicine. The fact is that the side effects are going to affect you beyond whatever the medicine is going to do. Amazing, that side effects are so prevalent in the commercial. I can't wait until the medical commercials show a happy family sitting together on a hill side having a picnic when the mom reaches for a soda with her third arm growing out of her arse because of the side effects!

I'm just saying that this could be the normal possibility for Zach and Kam when they reach my age. What will the world hold for them?

Can't wait to get over this cold/Flu either. Love Zinc and Zicam, so far the effects of the flu are suppressed. Hopefully I can get past the sore throat, I haven't had a sore throat in a long time.
this one actually hurt this morning thus we missed all the important baptisms today, Meg, and a couple of kids from my primary class got dunked today. I'm sure it was spiritual even without my presence.

Blog's and Youtube.

These two youtube posts are some of my favorite. I just wanted to share the comedy of Conan, because that's one awesome giant leprechaun. I think old Conan is much better as far as comedy skits go then the Conan of the Tonight Show era. Too bad about that, I still haven't watched two minutes of Jay Leno. Suck it hard Leno.
The other guy is equally funny. AC/DC is one of my favorite metal bands, but this guy hits the nail on the head, all metal songs are crappy in some form or another. Metal is about being loud after all, not soft and cute like country music.

I also have a grip against handy cap's. Handicap. What words comes to mind for you? For me, I think of a serious disability, uncomfortable set back, discouragement, and Tiger Woods.
Now when I say the word parking with the word handicap what do you think of? I think provided, looked out for, elderly, physically inept. I however also think anger, frustration, and I have more insurance so beat it or I'm going to beat that shinny red VW bug into pieces!

Have a look around while at your favorite grocery store and just see what types of vehicles are parked in the handicapped spaces. I am amazed to find fancy pants cars, and huge trucks. I always expect a mini-van with the slide out ramp, but only on occasion have I actually witnessed a true handicap vehicle occupying a handicap parking spot.

Often times it's a perfectly able person who walks upright, and appears perfectly healthy. When I see cars parked in a handicap space I want to see a gimpy person with a peg leg. Com'on what does an average white guy gotta do to get some respect? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here, I mean the sign clearly has a picture of a wheelchair. So give me a wheelchair effort here people.

Jim Breuer Ac/Dc

'Stackenblochen'

Fast Food Service Sucks other things I hate

Welcome to my post of things I hate. Letterman has his top ten, Leno has his headlines, Radio from Hell has things that must go. So I have mine, Dave's Things I Hate and Other Shenanigans.
I think this title comes from having 1. too much time to think about the crap that I shouldn't have to put up with and 2. I think about the worst possible outcome for every situation then try to make fun of it.

So here I am in heading toward my mid 30's (ouch) and I am enjoying the prime of life when I notice the stupid things happening all around me. I have become really aware of people and their stupid kids, and beyond that; their is stupid t.v., music, and entertainment.

I have learned a few things about people. Jack Handy was right, “I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and prejudices and just laugh at people.” end quote.

Here is my list of things:

1. The Rudy Giuliani motivational speech commercial....
So a bunch of famous has beens/are nows are getting together and want me to pay them to hear about how "infamous" they may/or may not be, to motivate my sales team. The highlight of the show is Sarah Palin via satellite. She works for Fox news now, the news source that never lies to America because they love America and support our soldiers. I do feel sad for Rudy, he was an American hero not long ago. These famous people that want for me to achieve my own personal success will only charge me $19 bucks. That's a fair price to pay to have to endure all the smug they will spill out. I wonder if the venue will offer a smug protection suit? I simply can't believe that the carnival of motivational circus freaks are coming here. I wonder what will be next? Probably a Nickelback concert.

2. The dude in the Prius blasting NWA Cop Killer
Not that I am against the prius or have a problem with choice of music the man was listening too, but that the two were put together. I thought most hippie's lived in downtown SLC. This guy was a compete dushe. Passing the Stansbury Park police sub-station with Cop Killer cranked and the windows down is a dumb act.

3. Children of the corn....
Parents be on time with things you are suppose to be on time for. Unless there is hell fire or a serious running of the bulls get your kids to primary on time. Be accountable, I am expected to be so why can't you? Parents, before you bring your precious little ones to my class warn them that if they don't shut up, listen to the lesson, and wait to be called on, Bro. Moncur is going to grab there bottom lips and yank them over their heads. Class will go so much smoother if it's understood that having a bottom lip in it's proper place is a good thing.
I don't know why I am teaching kids anyway, this is my 3rd or 4th go around with Primary or scouts. Man, I really can hate the things kids do.

4. Work Punks
A thank you goes a long ways, and kind words really do work wonders on cold hearts. That being said do me wrong once and shame on me for letting you do that to me when I helped you. Do it to me twice and I will forever remember. Ask me to lift you out of the pit and I will simply forget to hear your voice. Don't ask me to do your job and mine without saying thank you, it really does go a long way.

5. Political Hacks
I can't stand political rhetoric. I hate media programs that call themselves news when in fact they should be called entertainment. Case in point, the daily show with John Stewart he has it right when he calls himself an entertainment program. Sean, Bill, Rush, and all the like need to follow after this lead. It's my opinion that Sean, Rush, and Bill are simply entertainers. Putting on a show that promotes only themselves. To them I say boys, the fact of the matter is the voting polls are now closed. You had your turn, please wait for your next turn in 4 years to cast your vote, A$$. Be informed, make a choice and stick with it crybabies.

I will close now with some good Tillamook ice cream. Great stuff... mmmm.

KSL wants me to become a FB fan

side note: Not related to this blog, but the picture made me laugh. Thanks email.

I had a bad dream, then this morning I got a fb invite.... Blame it on the Quervo (I just wanted to say that, Carrie Underwood pisses me off.) So I dreamt that I ended up on KSL news, the website, the chatroom, and the classifieds. Yep the classifieds. My name was all over the Wasatch. Let me explain, the dream starts out with myself in an office, I am wearing a suit and tie, answering phones, faxing documents, and talking with Lawyers. The desk is a dark wood with fancy moldings. The computer is new, a soft keyboard and in the room has a hudge file folder, nice chairs, and some fake plastic trees, the ones you see in banks. I know I was selling insurance. Lots of insurance, infact I was a whiz at it. Money seemed to be rolling in hand over fist, sorta freaking me out. I don't remember having anyone else to help me run this office space. I remember setting up a couple of new accounts. Helping old people get affordable life insurance (which I think everyone should have personally) but something was really wrong. I had full control of all the estate of the old people, person, I don't remember how many, but I was the sole controller. I was sending money into private accounts and spending it wildly on fast cars and a popcorn machine. Then I remember somehow, getting an invitation to go to a fancy pants dinner at Little America with the Saltlake Chamber of Commerce (that's how I ended up on KSL). At the fancy pants dinner, which Misty wasn't there (strange yet 'cause I never eat dinner without her) I see KSL's morning personalities, and then I woke up. When I came to my sences, at first I could taste the throw-up building in the bottom of my throat. It's that feeling you get when as a kid you had to hug and kiss your great, great, aunt (stinky) whats er name at the family reunion, because your mother told you it might be her last reunion ever but you were to young to know what exactly that ment. I never knew great, great aunt (stinky) what's er name well enough to say no and be done with it. I never understood this form of adult to kid torture. So KSL a Bonneville network has chosen me to become a friend. That feels like voting for Sarah Palin and hoping for the best. KSL with it's spit polished reporting, news on the radio, and that damn Maria Shilaos. Not to mention the overly happy couple on the morning radio Grant (pansy) and Amanda (kiss n' hug) these two absolutely drive me crazy?! I don't think eighter one lives in the now, or reality. Have any of you ever listened to them? Besides the automatic gag factor that occurs every time I tune in, I feel like my skin breaks out in hives when Amanda smuggly agrees with Grant on Utah issues, they both speak as if they are the leading expert, autority, and grand poobauh wizard. What about Doug Wright you say, well I beleive he's the reason Utah County has become a baren wasteland of political smug plain and simple. You Utah County folks have smug all over you thanks to Doug. You bunch of smuggers, they sniff their own farts you know. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smug_Alert!

Becoming a friend of KSL I suppose would finish my assimilation to Utah, I say this because I do have an R C Willey account, paid for in full but still open. Moving on, did anyone watch the Superbowl and feel cheated? I totally expected the ads to be worth watching the game. So disappointed in CBS. The ads could have been better if the order went Doritos, then beer ad, then the Tim Tebow family ad thing (which I didn't get at all what message was that)? Betty White and Al Begotta were great, everyone else stunk, the dog collar choker was worth a laugh.

There hasn't been anything on t.v. worth watching for some time. Anyone got any ideas? Thanks for listening.

I Made a Post

I am looking forward to the new Conan O'Brien show sometime in 7 months. Hopefully it will be like his old late night show. The one that was actually funny, Co-Co can do some really good skits.

Kammryn and Zach. Sheezh! Talk about some spoiled rotten brats! I am to blame, says Misty how I don't exactly know, she's the one who likes cats not me.
I am having trouble teaching them the value of work. Any type of work! For the sake of Pete it would be a miracle blessing for me if Kammi would simply pick up her crap when she is done with her many Pica so-esk painting, coloring, and writing. The bum wrote her name on her bed sheet in yellow highlighter! I don't know if that crap will wash out, but she even left the marker on her bed cap off and fell asleep. She has acquired a canny nack for staying up late into the night, sometimes 2 0r 3 in the morning! I want to used drugs, but the FDA says no, and I am not going to jail for anyone.

Zach. Zach. Zach. Why won't this kid cause me some trouble? He's perfect, as far as 6 year olds go. Cleans up, does homework, and even tries to take care of his dirty laundry himself. Great kid, and I would love to trade his sister for a low maintenance model. Kam is cute, but low maintenance would fit better for me. Zach has out grown most of his pants. He is an enormous 6 year old. I hope this growth period doesn't stop at the 4Th grade (Misty) I don't think that is his fate, he eats like a horse. Sometimes I just put a feed bag around his muzzle and leave him for a 1/2 hour.

Our ward, has a lot of great people in it. Lots of faces I recognize but names are a blur. It's been a full year now that we have lived on Hudson Circle, rolls off the tongue real nice... Hudson Circle.
I still don't care much for scouts, parents are freaks and "gung-ho" or absolutely leave everything up to the leaders. Let me tell you something one of the many requirements is to cook a meal for your family. I can come cook you eggs for dinner but you ain't gonna like it much. Parents be involved, tons of scout crap is really up to you. I don't ever really care if Zach is an Eagle scout (unless he wants to be) but mostly it's up to the parents when your kid is a Cub Scout.

My green car is still on the road. We have owned this animal for 8 years of our almost 9 years of marriage (March 9 for those who are counting) When I say we, I really mean Misty. I have patched this car together and there is a lot to say about older model Toyota's on the road today. Great car and I plan on driving another one. We did however defect to Volkswagen. Really they should just call this car a LEGO since that is really how it is put together, sure there are fasteners and welds, but I had the whole front end disassembled to fix a leak in no time. I should be a mechanic, Haynes repair books are about the only thing I read.

March 9Th will be our 9Th year of marriage. It's been a lot of up's down's sideways and backwards times. Mostly because of money I didn't have any. Misty and I have a relationship that most people want, well too bad get your own or work on the one you already have. I really like what I got and I keep it safe.

Posting on Face book makes a lot more since to me because I can put stupid movie quotes and be done. I enjoy that on Face book, but not here unless I have pictures to go with it. Sorry to disappoint, but that is what YouTube is for anyway.

Thanks for listening.

http://d.yimg.com/kq/groups/17260182/1610997888/name/ftc-vi26.wmv