The Work Dumpster Diver Guy

I have a weekly dumpster diver that likes to visit my work. I work in an industrial area where there are a lot of diffrent warehouse and machine shops around. Also there is a huge recycling center a few miles away. This place is a mecca for all sorts of Gypsy's to take various metals and other metal stuff and sell it, maybe on E-bay, I don't really know. I have had this shaggy-hair, drifter come almost weekly to dive our dumpster, and each time he comes I have to shew him off like a fly. You see I don't care if he wants to dive into our trash and recycle all the used filters and other junk, it is better that he comes to collect the stuff so that it can be recycled anyway, if he can make a buck or two that's fine by me. The problem is the caveman's timing is always wrong, I constantly have traffic in and around our building because we have a stock yard were we sell our fuel tanks, and traffic seems to always be moving. The vehicle that Mr. Diver drives is an old Chevy truck held together with chicken wire and can fit three other guys that seem to always tag along to help out or maybe they are the pit crew for the truck for when it breaks down. I have meet with the diver group and even given them bottled water while I explained to them that it was important not to come trash collecting during working hours, but to come freely after hours. Each time the Sasquatch man appears with his freak parade, I have been polite and asked him to move his hill-billy mobile while I worked around his diving opps. I have dealt with the caveman who doesn't seem to speak a lick of English, but does understand "va-man-ous! el creep-os!!" I realize that he is probably supporting all of his family members in Mexico by recycling our waste, but I have told him too many times before to come after hours, so today I let him have it. I again found his truck blocking the entry while our customer had to wait to enter our stock yard. This time I did something diffrent, instead of asking him to stop what he and his g-grew were doing and move his truck, I simply started my forklift and I picked up his beater mobile with our fork lift, then moved his truck for him by lifting it with my forklift and moving it down the 200 foot drive, then across the street. I set it down gently and politely told him, and the freaks they had to beat it now. He cursed me out in Spanish or something, I don't think he had all of his teeth so I assume it was Spanish, a lot of nashing of teeth or gums. I wonder if he will listen and come get our used crap after hours like I asked. Something new to post anyway.

First Day of School

#50

This marks POST #50. Sorta a milestone? Men shouldn't be proud of there blogs, it isn't very manly in my own opinion, but at the same time I can't help but write. I will close with one of my favorite movie clips from Kamrynn and Zach. Because come on that is what this is all about, only this time I am not so much complaining as I am grateful.

Ode To My Wife

For the the little things our spouses do, for all the kid raising, meal making, event planning, church going, all of the Christmas, thanksgiving, birthday, and every other holiday event.
Ode to my wife for helping me get threw this life. This life without troubles and worries (not many). From her, I get my life spent without a fight or yell or scream or you sleep on your side night. I find nice letters, perfect in every literary way, bright smiles and loving hugs at the end of my work day. From her, no garbage or boring conversation, just Misty being Misty.
So I say to Misty thanks for fixing my blog and helping me in life.

Men at Costco

A few points I want to make.
A. Why is there so many men at Costco during normal work hours? Do they not have families to tend to? while I rush in to get my $1.50 hot dog and soda during my lunch hour. I think to myself what are all these dudes doing here? Could it be some sort of migration instinct, for what seems like thousands of men to come to Costco during lunch. Weird.

B. I-80 driver's. Misty and I have had some close calls on the road. I.E. if you drive I-80 here, watch out, there are some bad drivers.

C. Now that the state has gone to a more environmental-Eco-friendly schedule, it has thrown off the timing of my regular commute, in a good way I have noticed less morning hassle.

D. Zach. Spider boy is loosing his first tooth. The day that he noticed his tooth becoming loose, he screamed like a girl and was frantic. Only after his mother told his it was "cool" to loose a tooth did he become normal again.

E. Metro-sexuals. That's a real problem with me. The whole idea creeps me out. Men wanting to become fashionable, keep your homo agenda to yourself, homo.

F. Stuff in my house that I can't seem to find because of my children's toy box, blankets, movies, and other paraphernalia. It seems to me that my offspring tend to rule this home by pushing out me and my crap. Case in point, the kids have made it a point to pull down the box of toys marked "useless and stored for moving day" on account that Zach was quote, "looking for something."
G. Things that must go: Neighborhood kids at 5:30 p.m. I am tired and want to spend time with my family, neighborhood kids need to beat it. Gas prices. Soda refills for $1.25, and groceries in general. Ward activities director. R.C. Willy in general. VW Jetta drivers, Dodge Neon's, and finally blue hair'd old lady drivers. Sean Hanity, Rush, and the other main-stream media war-mongers.

H. Things that need to come back: $1.00 movie theater. ESPN (1999 ESPN without all the extra ESPN) Quarter pop in Harrisville. Adam my old roommate. Dates with my wife, dating Misty is a lot of fun. VH-1 when it was cool to watch. MASH, Dukes of Hazard, and Love Boat (because now I can watch it and see why my parents made me go to bed when it was on). 1995 Country music and finally my size 32 waist, mind 34-36 but I could be happy with 32.

In closing:
Everyone enjoy the Olympics!

Fancy Prego-Belly Pictures

Photo Clip is from the movie CLICK
what is with the world these days? Everyone has heard about the pregnant man right? Sick.
This might be a knock on all you ladies as you celebrate your pregnant baby bellies. What is with you girls posing vogue with a basketball belly anyway? Do you think it is sacred? I kind of get creeped out with the photos. Something weird about looking vogue with a belly. I know that there are those men out there that wear the speed-o and have the gut. My co-worker just got back from Sturgis North Dakota, it was was her and her husband's 8th year in a row. Apparently you have no status until the 10th year. Needless to say she shared some photos that would make your stomach turn with the fat people and the nakedness of it all. Scary. I think in the end pictures of a vogue prego nature might be the type to only share with close family and friends.

Well on with the Olympics! Everyone loves the Olympics.

Kiddos

Fake Laughs and Phony Conversations

Have you caught yourself doing this? Laughing but not laughing. Smiling and physically present but emotionally void? What about talking within a group, but not involved at all in conversation?

I have to tell you all that fake conversation, fake laughing, and all the phony conversations exist because there is present among us the pencil-neck geek. The pencil-neck geek can be male, female, and comes in a variety of color. One distinct feature among all geeks is the elongated neck. The purpose of such a feature must be to attract other geeks for mating, as of late the geek is not an endangered species.

Geeks run rapid among us they come in various sizes and ages. Some geeks can be as young as our little neighbor boy whom thinks it is alright to ram his head into our wall for no purpose but further accelerate his present brain damage. Geeks can be a "family group" as well. Starting with the father geek, once the male geek establishes his territory he trys to attract a mate by stretching forth his long neck, soon a "herd" of geeks takes root in the neighborhood.
Geeks then take on American jobs, and integrate themselves in modern society. They are working and living among us. Everyday citizens and co-workers. How does one know when one is among geeks? A few simple, obvious features are [1] Longer then usual neck [2] walk as if one leg is "stuck" permanently to the ground, while the other flops awkwardly in motion [3] carries on a conversation with a fake laugh followed by another laugh [4] annoys the heck out of you by asking you for information that you are not qualified to give [5] incontinent
With these obvious signs you are sure to know, someone among you is a pencil-neck geek.
This begs the question, so what is to be done? A few suggestions I have are simple. Loose gun laws, geek tax, and regulated breeding.
Perhaps, in time the only way to see a pencil-neck geek will be at a petting zoo. One can hope for a brighter future. The more you know (star flaring off).
Can we all please stop the fake laughing, and phony conversations.
Song is from Fred Blasie. Funny stuff.Back when I was a kid, life was going swell.Till something happened, blew every thing to hell.That night my daddy stumbled in, all pale and weak,Said, "A woman up the block just gave birth to a geek."Mom said, "Sell it to the circus, what the heck."Dad said, "Nope, this one's a pencil neck.And if there's one thing lower than a side show freak, It's a grit eatin', scum suckin', pencil neck geek."You see if you take a pencil that won't hold lead, Looks like a pipe cleaner attached to a head,Add a buggy whip body with a brain that leaks,You got yourself a grit eatin', pencil neck geek.(chorus)Pencil neck geek, grit eatin' freak, scum suckin', pea head with a lousy physique.He's a one man, no gut, losing streak.Nothin' but a pencil neck geek. Soon the geeks were poppin' up all over town. You couldn't hardly sneeze without knockin' one down.After a nice juicy steak, if you need a toothpick,Just reach for a geek, they'll do the trick.One day we cut one up for fish bait. Learned our lesson just a little bit late.Soon as the geek hit the drink, the water turned red.Next day, sure enough, all the fish were dead.chorusMost any night you know where I can be found.Yeah, stomping some geek's head into the ground.So keep the faith, 'cause in Blassie you can trust,I won't give up 'til the last geek bites the dust.chorusThey say these geeks come a dime a dozen.I'm lookin' for the guy who's supplyin' the dimes.Its gonna be real hard times for all of thesegrit eatin',scum suckin',boot lickin', drop kickin', gut grindin',nail bitin',glue sniffin',scab pickin',butt scratchin',egg hatchin',sleazy,smelly,pepper bellied, dirty, lousy, rotten, stinkin', freaks.Nothing but a pencil neck geek.

Home Teaching

Disclaimer: Sensitive matter and personal opinions are just that opinion. I do not like to dabble in religious matters, I am however opening the door for discussion.

Listen,
Has everyone seen the movie, "Home Teacher's"? Based on a couple of home teacher's that have an adventure trying to do their home teaching. The movie is great, because one companion is a "letter of the law" the other is a slacker. Near the end of the movie, the letter of the law companion has a softer heart, based on the fact that his life isn't so great, while the other slacker sees the need to pay more attention to what his family is doing and what he is missing out on.

So our ward has two elders quorums. I like that because I don't feel lost in a shuffle. Although I do not want to draw attention at the same time. I have known my companion briefly, met him once called him several times by phone. I felt like it was my responsibility to "let God know, I wanted to be a good home teacher" and actually want to go home teaching with a good feeling about it, I believe that by doing so, I would "bless my house" because of the desire to do something good, and it is asked of me. I am not going to complain about making appointments, and follow-up, I know what it is, I served a mission, I have been a home teacher for some time now. I recently got a phone call from my elders quorum asking me about did you see your families this month. The voice on the phone could not have been more dead to me then if it was Lurch from the Addams Family, "you rang".
During the conversation, I was asked had so-and-so come to see our family, my answer: no, we have never had home teachers since we have lived here in Stansbury Park. The secretary on the phone apologized. I said what for, it isn't your responsibility to be sorry because no one has come over to tell me one of President Monson's stories. How should you be apologizing for someone else's opportunity to receive a blessing? If home teachers don't want to come see our family, that really doesn't change my testimony. I have to answer for the same question as well. I don't want to cause a lighting bolt because I didn't make an honest effort to do something about home teaching. I call, and meet my companion, but I constantly get "dogged". I understand what being "dogged" means. I served a mission. I want to home teach for my benefit, not for someone else. Selfish, perhaps but if I do my home teaching it would be in a spirit of meaningful purpose, and not because it is a duty. So I am going to go with or without my companion, I will take my son, or one of my neighbors. Needless to say, I hate getting a phone call, asking me how did I do this week and what can I do better for next week. Let me tell you, I will write about it in my next letter to the mission president. Does that bring back some memories for anyone? My intention is to get some advise, anyone have some?