Twisted Thoughts during Sacrament

So I was thinking about movie lines and primary. I haven't been involved with primary now for about a year which is a nice break on account of our tour of duty both in Benson Mill ward and previous wards. Primary is one crack up after another. Kids all being herded into a small room overcrowded like public school, it's a great sight. Over weight teachers that get stuck sitting upon the small chairs because all the other adult chairs magically disappear. Sunbeams that are fresh from the at home potty training course's, most of them just didn't quite get the diploma's they need. All singing at the top of their lungs I am like a star shinning brightly.... I absolutely could not take myself serious but wait it gets better. A member of the bishopric steps into the room, a hush over the crowd befalls our youngsters as this magical man relates a story about how he wants all of us to listen to our teacher's and obey the prophet. I am amazed at how this member of the bishopric becomes candy to the kids, they love visitors it guess. So now to the movie lines, I was sitting in sacrament today thinking about the good things in life and how I am blessed when a thought popped into my head: I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot. That is a great movie line. I'll tell you what I'm doing. I want to buy eight hot dogs and eight hot dog buns to go with them. But no one sells eight hot dog buns. They only sell twelve hot dog buns. So I end up paying for four buns I don't need. So I am removing the superfluous buns. Yeah. And you want to know why? Because some big-shot over at the wiener company got together with some big-shot over at the bun company and decided to rip off the American public. Because they think the American public is a bunch of trusting nit-wits who will pay for everything they don't need rather than make a stink. Well they're not ripping of this nitwit anymore because I'm not paying for one more thing I don't need. Everything in this room is eatable, even *I'm* eatable! But that is called "cannibalism," my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. Character 1: I eat pieces of *crap* like you for breakfast.Character 2: You eat pieces of *crap* for breakfast? Zoolander, Happy Gilmore, the freaky new Willy Wonka show, and the weiner comment all came to mind while I was contemplating my place in the cosmos during sacrament. I would hope that humor is a big part of the afterlife. I would hate to be at the big conference in the sky and not be able to crack a joke. Also I realized that I am susceptible to Salomi club sandwiches. I made one of the best club sandwiches ever and the dang thing has done nothing but leave me in a painful situation and an embarrassment to society. Which in fact gives me a laugh when Misty and the kids catch a whiff and scatter the living room leaving me, my stink, and the t.v. all to myself. Sometimes the good things in life just needs to be the passing of gas and control of the remote.